Apparently telling the truth is mean. I suspect a lot of that is in the delivery. I tend to use a pleasant tone and try not to be accusing when I deliver elements of truth to my kids and others.
If I say to The Teenager, "I know how hard it is for you to be around people." I am not being mean, I am acknowledging her difficulties.
When I say to Actor Kid, "We both know you'll leave your rubbish on my desk. So put it in the bin now." I am not being mean. It is what she does. Pretty much every day.
But both the kids will say I'm being mean.
Usually my response is along the lines of: "I'm not but if you'd like I can be."
You'd think they'd be used to me by now, :)
Anyway, truth is just truth. It's not mean or nice. It simply is what it is.
As you may know, I am currently editing a manuscript. Yesterday I managed half a page, because it makes my brain hurt having to think for someone else. I already have to think for The Teenager and often for Actor Kid, so thinking for someone who I believe should be able to read my notes, see a few examples, and then DO what's needed - hurts my brain.
I also read another ms for someone (not the author oddly enough). Now I need to talk to the author and see where we go from there. The friend of this author wants the book published, we can help with that via the shop, BUT, we need to deal with the author not the friend. So many issues around 'friends' helping friends with something like this.
The ms I read yesterday needs editing for continuity and grammar, and then formatting for paperback and possibly kindle and ePub. It's not something I'd ever read unless (like yesterday) I had to.
My hang up in this case is the dependence the author has on religion. It's all "I've got cancer but my faith will protect me and carry me through, everyone should have God/Christ in their life" ... it's sliding into religious zealot territory and that's dangerous.
Honestly, I don't know if I can work with someone who thinks like that.
I'm a big believer in 'you do you and I'll do me' and as such anyone touting themselves as Christian sets my teeth on edge. They tend to be the ones who won't shut up and want to ram their fairy stories down my throat and tell me it's the truth. Yeah nah.
I'm all good with my own belief system thanks. You keep yours to yourself!
It'll be interesting to see what happens next, if anything.
Meanwhile ... I'm off to the shop. Then to Lower Hutt with The Teenager for what hopefully won't be a waste of time.
We'll see. :)