That's just how it is ... no prizes for guessing the song either.
So, I'm writing. YAY.
Yeah, I know!
Happily writing the new book - even though it's taken me over a year to get just over half way (potentially), it's going quite well now.
I thought this book was about one thing - turned out it's about something else. The only thing I was right about was title and where it comes from. Metabyte from metadata.
All the scenes I'd watched scroll past in video mode, all the conversations I'd heard, all the everything, pointed to one thing and then I found out that that one thing wasn't what this story was really about. Cue aggravation and annoyance.
The thing I thought it was about is a result of the real story.
Metabyte is about this other thing. It's a lot closer to home than I originally thought. The stakes are pretty damn high in several ways and a few directions.
Two days ago I woke up with a scene in my head. And someone I thought I'd seen the last of (in Snakebyte) was back. I don't know if it's good or bad and I don't know why it involved him at all, but, I think I'm about to find out.
And now you all know nothing. :)
Welcome to what it's felt like for me over the last 16 or so months while trying to get a handle on the story!
Crappy isn't it?
It has never taken me so long to write anything EVER.
The process this time has been painful. I hate that it's taking so long. I hate that I couldn't see where it was going. I hate that I didn't want to write. I hate that writing became something I almost forgot how to do.
That's what it felt like.
That I'd forgotten how I write and how to write.
It's not writers block. I'm not lacking ideas. I'm lacking confidence in my own words. Take enough hits and you start to question your ability and then ...
I lost my connection to Ellie and therefore I couldn't see what she was showing me.
That seems to have resolved. I can see her and hear her, well mostly. There's something she's holding back. Guess I'll see it when I see it.
It's nice having the images back though. I missed those. REALLY missed those.
I even struggled to find the music I needed that helped me reconnect with my characters. But then I did. Bon Jovi's new album.
This house is not for sale.
The first three songs that were released - fit this book perfectly. I'm hoping the rest of the album does too.
This happened the other morning:
Excerpt. Raw Words. Dunno where exactly this is going but it's important.
I stood in the middle of my office and tried to envisage the walls another color. Anything but off-white. Time for a change. Something new, fresh, and not prone to shadows.
Turning on the spot I searched the walls for any hint of the dragonfly I thought I saw minutes earlier. Five floors up. Windows shut. Night long blanketed the city. How the hell would a dragonfly get into my office? Walking to the window I looked past my reflection and into the night. Flickering Lights. Deep dark doorways. Traffic lights. People moving on the street below. No dragonflies.
Nothing remotely dragonfly shaped near the window or anywhere else that could account for the dual winged shadow I saw on the wall.
A light rapping caught my attention. Turning to the noise I saw Sandra poke her head around the door frame.
“Gracie is at the front desk.”
“Gracie. Front desk.”
I felt the muscles in my forehead tense. Gracie? I only knew one Gracie.
She nodded. “She’ll only talk to you. She said it’s important.”
A vice tightened around my head, squeezing.
“Yes. Shall I tell the desk to show her through?”
Sandra smiled and left. It’d been a long time since I’d seen Gracie. Intrigue piled on a plate in my mind with a small portion of I-don’t-wanna on the side. The last time I saw her … I couldn’t even remember the last time I saw her. Well before Rowan Grange and I very publicly parted company. Another shadow on the wall tweaked the corner of my eye. Gossamer wings. I blinked. The shadow vanished.