Been listening to FUN. in case you were curious about the blog post title.
Why? Because the first chapter of Psychobyte is called 'Some nights' and I was listening to that song while I wrote it ... over and over again. Go ahead and listen to it if you don't know it, and really hear the lyrics.
So when I was asked to think about re-writing the opening, I hit play and listened to the song again. Be easy if I could just lift lyrics but that's not a thing that can be done without the proper permissions, so let's not go to that place.
I did write a new opening using the mixed emotions from the song - then promptly scrapped it. Yeah, I deleted it from the MS but kept it, because it felt like a thing. I think it's a thing that I need to keep. :)
This isn't the first appearance of that song in my work.
'Some Nights' is also a short story in Array.
I'm going to include a wee bit here ... it wasn't easy to write and it's not easy to read, but for Ellie it was monumentally important.
"The dimming light pulled shadows from the corners and set them free. I took a breath and held it. Exhaling I counted to ten. And repeat.
It didn’t help.
Images bounced across my mind, jumbled, confused. Flashing pictures on a screen. Voices collided with one another. They didn’t match the images. Not out of sync but didn’t go with the pictures I could see at all. Confusing.
Cold swirled around me.
I blinked hard. The pictures wouldn’t leave and I didn’t want to see them. Been there, done that, have the scars to prove it.
As more images pounded my mind it became harder to breathe. Murder victims. Body parts. Blood. So much blood. Crime scenes. Mac lying on the wet ground. Windows breaking, glass flying past me.
Something hit me.
Darkness fell, then broke wide open.
Images gave way to sirens, screams, loud voices, gun shots."
- an excerpt from Some Nights (a short story within Array)
Why is it important?
Because if it wasn't for her team and for Mitch - there would be no more Ellie as we know her. As much as she'd like to be able to handle everything herself all the time, she starts to unravel and discovers she can't always do that.
Very few people can do it all without a support network.
See what I did there?
It's okay to reach out and it's really okay to put your hand up and ask for help.