Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The things that amuse me probably don't amuse other people ...

When I drift away and I'm supposed to be listening to you ... I'm really sorry ... but something popped into my head and I had to follow it. Most often it's a scene from something I've yet to write. Sometimes it's a scene from something I have written and am in the middle of edits for.
Both of these things happen with frightening regularity at the moment.
It's nothing personal.
Bear with ... :)

On the way to school today, I was completely zoned out. I let my mind free-wheel while story lines meandered about in my head. Ways of killing characters emerged. They all felt a bit samey. Oh another stabbing ... sigh. Gunshot? Broken neck? Really? Dismemberment? Yeah nah, as much fun as it is ... I wanted something fresh. What about drowning, haven't done that yet? Drowning in the shower would be a bit different ... yes, it would but not the sort of different I'm looking for.
Then this landed on my foot:

Yeah nah, it's not candyfloss (no diabetic coma). It's a chunk of insulation. Pink Batts.
Not the sort of thing one usually gets hit by.
In all fairness, it's fucking windy outside this afternoon ... but this was the only thing that hit me. Lucky really, could've been a branch or a rubbish bin lid. :)

I suppose you could suffocate someone with Pink Batts. I kinda like the idea of someone shoved inside a wall and smothered by Batts. Seems like a slow itchy death. :) (Although I hear it doesn't itch so much these days? And Superman told me not long ago that only some people found Batts itchy when they handled them anyway ... he's handled a lot of them over the years ... but I digress)
Then I started thinking ... how about the plants they make the Batts in? Surely there are some fun ways to kill people there? A nice fiery furnace ... now that might even get rid of the body, they're pretty freaking hot.
Yes thought is being devoted to this.
Not just thought though.
I asked.
Because how else will I find out?
Yeah that's probably not a question to ask a random stranger ... "Excuse me, but how many ways to kill someone do you think there are in your plant?"
I can imagine the confused look and how the next call could be to police.
And how very hard it would be for me to keep a straight face.
So yeah, I asked, but not a stranger. (I remember what mum said about talking to strangers ... yeah don't. That advice probably holds true when asking a stranger how they think you could kill someone in their place of work, as well.)
Not everyone sees the funny side of my questions.

I have a list of ways someone could die in a plant now, and it makes me very happy. :)
Don't look at me like that ... it's not sick, it's jolly good fun.

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