Thursday, January 17, 2013

Working/writing or not.

In an effort to get some work done... I've got Human Target playing in the DVD player. I hope it works. Always used to, but, things have changed. This year is tough.

I'm away again next week and I really want to get some work done before I go.

Or even just some random scenes written...

At this point I'll take anything my mind decides to toss up. It's been pretty slow at sharing lately and that frustrates me. I'm not loving it. It's almost like Ellie has deserted me. I figured she'd show back up if I could find the right catalyst. Problem is, the usual things aren't working.
Music didn't work. Seriously - when does music ever fail me? But at the moment Bon Jovi, Modern West and Lorenza Ponce are falling flat... this is unprecedented.
So, I went for the backup - Human Target.
What sort of fucked up world is this that Mark Valley, Jackie Earle Haley, Chi McBride aren't inspiring me to a massive word count?

Meanwhile, I'm making myself write every day - it's crap but it's words on the page, and suspect that's about all I can hope for at the moment. My output is pathetic at best. (I'm sitting here with a half finished screen play and an almost finished novella... oh well, they're not going anywhere.)

I got a new notebook. It's a nice notebook.

See, I thought not having a notebook to start the year was causing this nothingness to happen. (Shut up, I actually thought that.) I ordered a notebook (with a very fancy flash drive) from Merimobiles in November, it should've been here well before now. It never arrived. So, no notebook. Yesterday I went and bought a notebook. Last night I wrote about two pages in it.
Not seeing much joy in it though.
There could be potential. Not terribly happy about where the 2 pages led. Really, NZ, again? I thought Delta were done with NZ.

There is other stuff not related to writing going on... and stuff related to that is kinda pissing me off. But I have no right to be pissed off, because I don't tell people anything so therefore they can't possibly know what's going on. And when I do say anything I tend to be a little offhanded about it all.
It upsets people to hear it.
It upsets me to talk about it.
So I don't.
I'll suck it up and figure my own way through it. And occasionally I'll be angry at the world, but the world has big shoulders so I figure it can take it.
I'd be angry with God too but I'm not such a big fan of his - I think he fucks up way too often. Last time he fucked up royally and I haven't spoken to him since - so yelling at him now is kinda a waste of time.
(Don't bother trying to argue with me, by the way. My blog, my views, and they're NOT up for discussion.)

Really hoping for thunder today. It's raining now, so that's hopeful.

Maybe a good storm is what's needed.

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