Please welcome our latest
victim guest, J. H. Bográn
(Or simply José). On the metal plate suspended above that puddle by wires is a
block of Whittakers peanut butter chocolate, behave and the chocolate won’t
In the event of an earthquake/zombie plague/or random occupation - you’ll find emergency procedures taped to the bottom of your seat. Yes, just like a floatation device. You’ll also find a Glock 17 with a full magazine.
Remember you cannot reason with zombies and it’s a head shot every time.
Actually, no. I prefer a Sig 229. Or is the Glock a part of your scheme to grill me? On second though, I want the handgun that goes unseen in the best places.
What’s your favorite type of takeaway? (Yes, that means take-out in NZ speak)
Kom Pao Chicken, accompanied with a Heineken or Miller Draft. The thing is I rarely get to eat it. My three sons usually overrule my menu suggestions.
I know how I do what I do… but how do you do what you do?
Oh, I just pay attention to the voices and copy everything down. Then I give it to some friends to read and they tell me the voices must be as crazy as I am. Then I rewrite while trying not to listen to them again. You’re probably wondering if by “them” I mean the readers or the voices, right?
Could you tell us a little bit about your latest work?
It’s a short story titled The Assassin’s Mistress. It explores the consequences of a professional hit man who falls in love. His life style is not something he can quit overnight. Killing is addictive, you know.
Here’s the Amazon link so you can take a look.
Do you have a favorite coffee or tea?
Coffee. Black. One sugar. Self-conscious as I am, I hate it when the clerks suggest I want diet sugar. I go “Do I look fat to you or what?” That’s when I wish I can wrap my hand around that Glock. Then again, why Glock? They are not fun guns. All they do is shoot and shoot and shoot.
One moment please - Jose, the point of a Glock is that is does shoot and shoot and shoot. :)
Describe your current mental status.
Numb. These questions are coming way too fast, and hitting way too close to home.
Walk us through a typical day. (Do you make sure you’re wearing your lucky underpants before you sit down to write, perhaps you prefer commando? While we’re discussing your underpants, boxers, briefs, or budgie smugglers. Inquiring minds want to know. Yes, that includes my Admins… we don’t piss off the Admins.)
Brief or boxers. Really? (Using Jack Nicholson’s voice)Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer?
I’ll let you go hack into the airport’s mainframe and see the body scan records so you can see for yourself. Come on, go on. I’ll have a sip of my black coffee in the meantime.
Oh, you’re back so fast. So, now that you know, I’ll answer the initial question.
My typical day includes 9 – 10 hours at my day job in the garment manufacturing industry. Coffee breaks with the iPad allow me to do a bit of Facebook, twitter, and visit blogs and forums. Then, once I get home and spend a couple of hours with the family either playing video games, some soccer out in the street and read a book, I go into my home office. My goal is flexible: one day is a word count, other times it’s a difficult scene. Sometimes I like to write longhand, which means that later I must type from those yellow pads. Great chance to do a first revision.
Who would you turn gay/straight for?
Hmm. . .hard to say. I’ll compromise and confess I’d turn unfaithful for Charlize Theron.
Who are your favorite writers?
The trio that made it look so easy that even a fool like me could do it is Ken Follett, Clive Cussler and Tom Clancy. Recent ones include Keith Cronin, EJ Knapp, Jon Land, Karen Dionne, Steve Berry, Barry Eisler, and one crazy stalker from NZ that writes under the alias of Cat Connor.
Always a smartass, Jose!
Who inspires you to do better? (Be as corny as you’d like… just go for it! Mmmm Whittakers chocolate.)
My family. I’m taking this whole trip for them, and because they let me. They are my investors, and creditors.
Do you ever put pants on your dog, cat, or budgie?
We have two dogs, a beagle named Wasabi, and a cocker named Lucky. No pants, but a t-shirt when the weather is too cold for them.
Describe your perfect day.
I’d go with Cheryl from Rhode Island on this one: “That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.”
The truth is there are several versions of a perfect day for me: one where I finish a new draft; one where the whole family enjoys a day trip; one where everything works out smoothly on my day job.
Who is your favorite fictitious villain? Or are you all about the hero? Who do you love to hate?
Vito Corleone is one; although he’s more of an anti-hero. The actual villain I fear but would be thrilled to meet is Hannibal Lecter. Next to my computer sits a Darth Vader head coffee mug. That should tell you something about my favorite movie villain.
Do you have any quirks?
Yeah. Just one: I like to write.
All-time favorite movie and why?
Boy, wrong question. I’m a big movie fan and can’t choose a favorite. I’ll list you some of the ones I gotta watch every now and then: Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, any Star Wars 4 through 6, any Indy, any James Bond, The Fifth Element, Rocky I and Rocky Balboa, any Die Hard. Can you tell the pattern?
Do you enjoy the editing process?
Honestly, I do. It’s thrilling to be able to talk and/or fight about my story with somebody; somebody who likes it almost as much as I do. Rewriting is difficult for me because I can’t see my own mistakes. Not that I think I’m perfect.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
If you’d asked me that before November last year I would have said a city in Europe. Now, I fell in love with New Orleans. That’s the setting of my new novel and I was blessed to be able to visit. Twice.
What is one thing you know about New Zealand? (Please do not mention LOTR or The Hobbit. Do you have any idea how many short people are in NZ right now? It’s freaking terrifying. Seriously grow legs or get out!)
I know you’re called “Kiwi” but have no idea why.
Oh, wait! I also know they use to film the Power Rangers TV serial there.
Favorite Pizza topping?
Finally, an easy question! Pepperoni.
What were you before you became a writer?
Are you implying I’m already a writer? Heck, I still think of myself as a “in the way to become one.” I already said I work in garment manufacturing. I love that job, thankfully. So there it is.
What is the most random thing you have ever done?
Get married! Just kidding.
If you’re not working, what are you most likely doing?
Reading, watching a movie, or playing some sort of game with my kids.
Who is your ultimate character?
Not created by me: Vito Corleone.
Of my own creation: Alexander Beck, a thief for hire who works under the alias of The Falcon. He’s my most recurrent character.
Whiskey or Bourbon?
Both, but on separate glasses, please.
Have you ever been to New Zealand? And if not, why not?
No yet, but, does the elevated number of times watching Lord of the Rings count? How about some of the Power Rangers episodes? No? Okay, I’ll set a novel there to see if I can manage a research trip.
What’s in your pockets? (Or handbag, whatever you carry your stuff in. Are you apocalypse prepared?)
Not apocalypse-ready, but grew up as a Boy Scout so my pockets show it: I always carry a Swiss army knife, a pen, a lighter, an USB flash memory. I suffer during short trips when I can take my knives. Airport security and all.
In the trunk of my car I carry a machete, a large flashlight, a toolbox, jumper cables, gloves, fire extinguisher, and a rope.
Laptop, PC, tablet?
All three: Laptop at the office, PC at home, tablets everywhere.
Ebook or tree book?
Depends. I love to read both. Funny trivia fact: last year I finally got to read Gone With the Wind. I had bought a hardcover edition. After a week, my wrists complained so much I actually went on to buy the Kindle edition!
On the other hand, I recently blogged about a certain disadvantage of ebooks aboard planes, so when traveling I have to carry a paper bag.
Favorite apocalyptic scenario?
Hmm. . . I guess it would be the one where I make it out of it alive.
You made it!! Damn, you rock. Now would you like to try for the chocolate? Mind the puddles… but hurry. Power surges are common in the dungeon; you don’t want to have one hand on the metal plate containing that delicious chocolate block and a foot in a puddle...