Don't read this while drinking (or eating)

Every now and then Action Man forwards me emails - but only exceptionally good ones.
This, is one of the best!

*Now is the time to put your drink down.*
No, really... put it down!!  :) ....

You were warned...


Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were
supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!

I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the
face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give
this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want
some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your
assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spa sms and a
major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly
make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking
at this little device measuring about 5 ' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference;
pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side
as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from
such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give
myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . ..

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in
the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and
over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position,
with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a
picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt to
avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of
caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!
You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a
violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that
point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it
originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed
88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparrently I shit myself, but
was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a
faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for
their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.'

One way or Another...

There is lot's of backstory involved in the story I'm about to share with y'all. Lots! Only three people know exactly how annoyed I was, although I'm suspecting y'all might guess as you read:

Yes, this is a Byte short - which means it's Ellie, Lee, Sam and Kurt.

One way or Another.

I do believe that you can sign up for the Rebel ezine - no doubt there is a link somewhere on the pages!! lol

Walking fast to dodge bullets.

Or teeth.

Walking fast to dodge the scary jaws of a fucktarded pitbull cross that wanted to eat Romeo.

I changed our path home to give us the advantage. Plus, when we got around the corner I put as much distance between us and the traffic lights as possible before I watched to see where the owner of the offending dog was heading - he was going across the main road -fucktarded animal still lunging in our direction.
So we walked down the other side. I figured then if the dog broke free (like it has before) it'd have to run through traffic. Good chance it'd be killed before getting to us and if it did make it, we'd be in the Fire Station before it could get hold of either of us.

Made for a fast walk home. Romeo doesn't mess around when he thinks something is wrong.

So that was how Monday started. :)
Life is never dull.

The weekend was great - but I was pretty pleased to see Monday. Didn't get much sleep last night, which is kinda annoying. That's what happens when I don't get a chance to write for three days. It's not like the story stops, it just has no where to go! Hopefully I can get a good bit done today.

Yesterday The Boy Wonder and I met with Graeme from Oosh Multimedia - we talked book trailer for Flashbyte. I'm actually really excited to see what they come up with. Graeme said the word EPIC. That's gotta be good! lol
It's a bit hard at the moment without a cover - there is no focal point, which is annoying. If Rebel uses my cover ideas then it'll be fine, but if (like the cover issues with exacerbyte) someone else starts trying to interpret my vision then the cover won't match what I was talking to Graeme about.

I know people get different things from books - one will see the story one way and another will have a different perspective - take what you want from the text but don't argue with the author. Because nobody else but the author knows exactly what they wrote about!
Flashbyte is about how we store memories/data and how fragile our memory is.

Flashbyte: When you wake from a nightmare with your own hair wrapped tight around your neck, you just know it’s going to be a hard week. Maybe it’s me, but murders, being hunted by a terrorist, bank robberies, snipers, an exploding house, and a small memory issue that spirals me into a special kind of hell does seem a little excessive.

It’s a memory from the past and they can’t hurt you, right?

I have a few minutes...

I do, while I'm drinking my coffee... so I thought, why not blog? Couldn't come up with a decent reason not to, so, ta da!

The weekend started on Friday morning with Action Man's birthday - he had the day off, because his work is awesome. So, long weekend! It's been mostly organised chaos since. PS, he loves his Kindle. It's such a man toy - really - what a great way to get men to read more. Here's a gadget you can fiddle with and it will even read to you! lol

This morning, instead of blogging I should be printing the synopsis and tag lines for Flashbyte. This afternoon I have a meeting with Oosh Multimedia and we're talking book trailer. Oh yes we are! Exciting stuff.
They're the team who did this... Upper Hutt State of Mind. I love it!! (Do you see now why walking through the hood in DC wasn't an issue for us? I'm not even only joking a little bit.)

At this point I would like to mention that I have nailed the rich fruit cake making thing. Oh, yeah. Action Man's birthday cake is delicious. Admin Yummy formerly Admin Bubbles (note the name change - I can't explain it, just go with it.) has used the M word to describe the cake. But as it's a banned word in our house I'm not about to put it here. Let's leave that to Admin Yummy, shall we?

So, gotta say, pretty good weekend so far.

I even managed to ditch the first draft copy of Flashbyte that was on my Kindle and replace it with the latest edited version (still waiting on next round of edits.) so I can read without tweaking anything, and make notes as to what I feel like changing/moving/fiddling with. The danger of me reading in Word is self-explanatory really, but, in case you don't know... I'm a compulsive word tweaker, there is not way I can read a Word doc of my work and NOT move something, change something, add something... which is fine, except I'm waiting for edits from my trusty editor, and it will make things tricky if I've made too many changes prior.

Would like to squeeze in some writing time today - but I can't see it happening. Oh well, tomorrow it Monday - my favorite day of the week. I shall work my fingers to nubs then. :D

Now, this is cute, so am including it.
This is Breezy first thing this morning, still sporting face-paint... with Romeo. Turns out that Romeo is man enough to handle the pink.

In these arms...

This morning I had a few scenes to write, none that I actually wanted to write but... it's not always about what I want. (How's that for insightful?)

I'm getting closer to the end of SOUNDBYTE, it's not a pleasant end. (I don't think that's news to any of you.)
Right now, the members of Delta A are embroiled in the full on craziness that is spewing forth from a case that was never what it seemed - and then there is the teenager, with her own set of problems. None of which are earth shattering on global standards but since when do teenagers grasp that? She's busy flexing her muscles and driving her mother nuts. Torn, I guess is the best way to describe Ellie's current mental state. My urge to have her slap the kid good and hard upside the head is taking some effort to quell.

So, that was my morning... how was yours? (Yes, that is my interested face... sorry, but that's as good as it gets at the moment!)

Action Man's birthday is tomorrow. He has the day off. (Because Fire Security Services is an awesome place to work.) Today he took cherry cupcakes (among other less exciting treats) into work for his birthday morning tea. I made the cupcakes yesterday.

Tomorrow, I have a ton of things to do - which means writing might won't happen. I actually have a ton of things to do today as well... but would prefer to get this book over with finished. I've gone from knowing how the Unsub did what he did, to having no clue!! Turns out what I thought I knew, I didn't. This is the problem with characters like mine. They like to keep me guessing, and just when I think I've got it sorted - one of them always pulls the freaking rug out from under my feet.
Yes, it does keep the process fresh and exciting... but sometimes I'd like to be in on the secret! I don't see why I'm always the last to know... are these not my fingers on the keyboard???

Meanwhile ... playing a lot of Bon Jovi today. (Tell you something new?? Ummm... it's not the album you think, how's that? Whatever you thought, it ain't that one.)

Don't be expecting FLASHBYTE until early next year. I would love it to be out late this year, but I don't see that happening, as my publisher has three other books ahead of mine... and EXACERBYTE was released in Feb this year. :)

Between now and the 10th of whatever I have a lot to do.

It would be better for me if all the edits were complete on FLASHBYTE in the next month or so (waiting to get the next round back from my editor at the moment). I want to get the 5th Byte novel finished A-SAP and gone from my desk. Then I can shift focus for a decent period of time to this kiwi novel. I was trying to write that along side the Byte novels, but it's too hard jumping from Kiwi to American. I need to have no Ellie in my head for it to work properly.

Trying to imagine life without Ellie in my head.
I imagine it to be quite lonely. :)
No doubt once I get to know the new characters and get used to their quirks, it won't be lonely at all.

Okay, well, that's it for me... I may not blog until Sunday or maybe Monday now - due to HUGE time constraints.
But you've heard quite a lot from me over the last week or so... so, I'm sure you won't mind.

Meanwhile:

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.  (Or, you're SSA Ellie Conway: killerbyte, terrorbyte, exacerbyte, Torrent.)

Romeo and Missy

When Missy came to live with us, she was a little bit wild, a lot under nourished and she'd not spent much time inside. She was just over a year old.
Since then she's grown, calmed, become smoochy and cuddly, is an inside cat - as in she only goes out when she wants to and never spends nights outside. She doesn't attack or bite (usually - unless another cat comes along - even through a window, she hates other cats.).
She sleeps on our beds, in our beds, under fleecy blankets... she's trained the kids to feed her crack in the morning (Fancy feast). She's trained us to buy it for her. She rules the house. But she does so with love and kindness.
Her best friend for many years was a rabbit, Milly. They adored each other.
Then one day Milly died (old age - she was 7and a half) and we bought home a new four-legged friend who needed a home.
Missy met Romeo.
She was entirely unimpressed at first glance.
He was (and is) all legs.
She stalked him - but did not touch him.

He was respectful to the point of ignoring her. He wouldn't look her in the eye. He wouldn't walk past her. Romeo would freeze when the cat crept near.



Then one day... she opened the door for him and let him upstairs during a stormy night.


Still he ignored her.

And ignored her.

One day he sniffed her butt while she waltzed by.
And went right on ignoring her.

Yesterday she walked under him, her tail touched his belly and he didn't react. :)

And then last night...

she sat by him while he slept..

And today she watched him eat dinner... to be fair he sometimes doesn't finish his dinner, so she probably thought he needed supervising.



Finally, it looks like Missy has accepted Romeo as hers, it's only taken about two months. Probably because he never does anything to her, doesn't chase her or torment her... and God knows cats HATE to be ignored. Clever Romeo, knows just how to push Missy's buttons!

Quite the coincedence ...

A year ago I did my first radio interview - which was fun, and it aired the same day as the September Quake in Christchurch.
But what was really freaky was the manuscript I'd turned into my publishers originally had an earthquake scene in it set in Christchurch. Now it was so ridiculous a thought that I toyed with moving the entire setting to Wellington (earthquakes are not unusual up here.) but that would've involved a huge re-write and I got lazy, so I ripped the scene out. As you do. And it happily went to my publisher and subsequently to print without the implausible Christchurch quake... four months after life imitated art and there was a quake.

Roll on the next radio interview (for a radio station up in Hamilton)... I felt really bad after that one, seriously... who knew it would level the CBD in Christchurch?? And then an interview that wasn't even radio and bang it hit Japan. I was on a roll.

There are other weird things that I've written and had to remove from manuscripts - one was a helicopter vs small plane over the Hudson, again EXACERBYTE. I removed the scene and re-wrote it because as I wrote a helicopter crashed into a small plane over the Hudson and looked up Hoboken for part of the scene... a kiwi helicopter pilot was killed when his helicopter and a plane collided.

Of course the thing I left in EXACERBYTE, because it was so far from left-field it couldn't possibly happen, did. But the betrayal was every bit as devastating as the betrayal Ellie felt upon finding out that someone she trusted had caused so much destruction.
But I have to say when I realised what I'd written - and it was after it had gone to print... it made me smile, in a don't-fuck-with-me kinda way.

So, it should come as no surprise that in SOUNDBYTE there is an in depth scene where Ellie reassures her daughter that there isn't going to be an earthquake in Virginia, to the point where she uses historic data to calm the teenager. AND... a few days later finds herself trying to get home after a big earthquake strikes Virginia.

Had the earthquake today caused extensive damage and loss of life, I'd be re-writing again. But it hasn't... except for some cracks in the top of the Monument, a spire on the National Cathedral fell down, and part of a building collapsed in Tyson's Corner... so I think I'll keep these scenes.
Because the whole idea of this being the biggest earthquake to strike Virginia since 1897 really floats my boat - and the original scene with the panic caused by the rest of the worlds earthquakes on an impressionable young teenager, works. I can say no more. But it works. And it's going to knock a few people on their asses.

(As for the original earthquake scene from EXACERBYTE - it's in pieces in a collage on our bathroom door along with a scene from FLASHBYTE, that I was going to remove but I really had fun with, so it stayed... no, nothing horrible happens but it does have the words 'Death Retardant Specialist', in it.)

Makes you wonder what else I'll stumble upon in my writing, huh?


Maybe I should start writing with my eyes shut and brain off... whatever will be, will be. :D

Now because this amuses me greatly and way too many people Google these words... here's the links to the respective posts!

Cooked turtle, Plasticuffs, Death by Chlorine gas, walk of shame, blood on concrete, murder board.

Enjoy.

Everybody knows...

You can lead a horse to water...

That is how it is in this industry too or at least how it seems most days. :)

You can lead a person to a book...

I had a phone call from Action Man this morning - yes, unusual. Didn't used to be, used to be that he was so freaking bored at his former job that he called three times a day to tell me nothing.

This was doubly unusual... he called AND had something to share!

He's in this really good space at the moment, work is awesome. He loves his job. He likes the people he works with. So, the phone call? To tell me that someone at work asked how to spell my name and what I write. THEN, actually looked me up, read the first chapter of killerbyte and can't wait to read more. But wait, there is more... she shared the info with another friend who reads. The friend said she'd like to read killerbyte after her and was told, "Buy your own copy."
Yeah, I know! Finally someone who gets it!!

That's the thing with being a writer. I don't get paid unless people buy books. :)

And that reminds me, I need to go through photos for the upcoming Flashbyte trailer. Pretty sure The Boy Wonder set up a meeting with a production company for this coming Sunday. (the team who did the this UH video.) Holy crapdoodle... gonna need to print some copies of the synopsis and get those tag lines sorted too!! And no cover yet, so that will make it tricky - no focal point for the trailer! Perhaps a quick email to beloved editor - she may have some sort of time frame in mind by now!!

That's okay, I only wanted to finish writing Soundbyte this week, before the family descends on Thursday sometime for Action Man's birthday on Friday. I have made the cake, do need to ice it though and get a picture up to Cartridge World for them to print onto icing for me. Think we have decided on dinner for Friday night... going to need to shop! Oh, and, ya know, CLEAN the freaking house.
Meanwhile, I believe the kids might require some input from me and everyone still needs to be fed between now and Friday. (Sometimes it would be damn handy to be able to pop everyone into some kind of stasis... just while I get things sorted.)

What do you have to lose?

How's that for a blog title? Not bad, huh?

Today is one of those... 'fuck it, I have nothing to lose if I ask and only regrets if I don't' - days.

Used to be that I just wouldn't ask but after being in this business for a few years you become immune to things like... good sense and the word no. :)
Perhaps not good sense... that may just be me. But as a writer if you don't develop a pretty thick skin when it comes to the word No, then you're going to be miserable and get... well, no where!

I'm not going to tell you what I did today, if I get a yes, then, yay. You'll find out soon enough, maybe. If I get a no, well it doesn't matter and that's the end of that idea.
Suffice to say, finding the information I needed wasn't as easy as it could've been, so I had to really want this to keep looking.

And now because it's August 22nd and because we loved the Muppet's in our house.
Here's Alice Cooper on the Muppet Show:

Extra special booze-ridden cake

Happy Sunday...

Seemed like a good day to bake Action Man's birthday cake. The process began last night with the soaking of all the fruit in a decent amount of brandy and orange juice.
At lunchtime today I combined all the ingredients almost needed a bucket to mix it in! And now the cake is cooked and cooled enough to start pouring brandy over the top.
By Wednesday it should be ready for the almond icing.
Tonight I need to create a collage to have printed onto icing for the top.
Should be fun. Lucky for him I don't have any pictures from his childhood... I've seen the pictures. Let's just say he's aged fabulously.
Need to have this cake ready for the cutting and devouring on Friday night.

Apart from the cake, I made homemade pizza dough. (figured I'd use the warmth coming off the oven to rise pizza dough... ) The pizza is now cooked and sitting on the stove top waiting for Action Man and a big knife.
I know the girls won't like it, so I shall make them grilled cheese sandwiches in a minute. (They might have liked the pizza but I stuffed the crust with cream cheese and covered the pizza in onion, mushrooms, tomato, bacon, pepperoni, and Italian sausage... and yes, I do know the difference in my sausages. - Just before an Admin chokes to death trying to ask!)

Managed to also write a few thousand words in Soundbyte and watch two more episodes of Human Target, today.

Busy but fun.

Now, I shall go make grilled cheese... and call for a very tall man with a knife.

A question, a jerk, and a weather preference

So, let's get today's burning question out of the way first, shall we?

I asked it on facebook and on Google plus because it really bugs me, but only sometimes, the rest of the time I don't give a rats ass.

At what point in ones life does a person stop wearing jeans, trainers and tee shirts and start wearing tweed skirts, twinsets and court shoes? (or whatever the equivalent is in your world.) When does the sensible short hair cut start to look like a damn fine idea?

Does a person wake up one morning and think, 'okay I'm old  - let's put on the old people clothes and get on with it?' Or is it gradual... first the tee shirts become blouses.
I know people who were born old. Seriously, there are people I went to school with who were old in high school you can imagine how OLD they are now!
Why does that happen? Do they lose the will to live early on? Do they spend too much time with old people and catch age?
This is a serious thing, people.
At what point in a persons life do they discard Bon Jovi or the Rolling Stones at high volume and start listening to Barry Manilow?
Answers would be grand!

Okay moving on ...

In my world I know a lot of authors, it's just how it is. I hang out with them online I know a few in life... if I was a fire fighter I'd know lots of other fire fighters. The thing with authors is, they're genuinely nice people. (A lot of them are pretty damn funny too.) Every now and then I came across one who stands out for all the wrong reasons.
Recently one such writer really pissed me off.
He is the jerk.
The one who thinks/says you do it wrong because you don't do things his way.
The one who implies or straight out says his plots are way more complicated than yours because he can't have all his character back stories and plots in his head or in a notebook.
The one who is obviously going to be an over-night success. (Smile and nod, we all know it takes at least 3 years to be an overnight success, usually a helluva lot longer.)
He's the one who sucks up to as many authors in his genre as possible, the more famous the better.
He's the one who doesn't belong to any writers groups. (Not proper ones anyway)
He's the one who self-published.

I have nothing against people self-publishing at all, I know some extremely talented authors who have done just that, but he isn't one of them.

Right, now that I have that out of my system,

My weather preferences ... considering we had two proper days of snow and now it's raining... pouring... I can honestly say I'll take the snow. The rain is miserable... the snow was fun.

The dog disagrees on both counts, he's hoping for a sunny weekend and a big run!!


And as a side note - I finished the synopsis for Flashbyte and sent it to my editor. YAY.
Also, wrote the synopsis for Soundbyte... so feeling quite virtuous right about now. :)

Am I free?

Every time I get a text that asks "Are you free tomorrow?" I feel this compulsion to reply, "Hell no."

But I suck it up and answer sensibly. (Doesn't sound like me.. but there you have it. What can I say? I like to keep people on their toes.)

So, today... second ever snow day in UH.

The snow is now melted, so I'm guessing school will be open tomorrow. - Mixed feelings over that. 'Was kinda nice not having to rush off in the morning.' versus 'Dear God get these kids out of my house!'

But, being me, I decided that kids or no kids I will get this fuc'n synopsis finished and finally send the short story to my editor.

Then, I had added incentive... the DVD's I ordered arrived via courier this morning. I watched the pilot and the first episode of Human Target (season one) then finished the dreaded synopsis. :-)
Really, it was only so I could watched another two episodes guilt free.... lol

It's sad how much I enjoy that show really, and frustrating because Fox canned it after season two.
How could anyone not enjoy this?

Seriously?










That was pretty much my day... well, that and a coffee break with Mac (aka trusty neighbor Kane) which started with a text asking what I was doing and then saying, 'didn't you hear me knocking?'
I replied with, 'Is the door locked?'
No, it wasn't.
Someone didn't think to turn the handle.
Got that sorted. lol


And a reminder about the Not-the-Booker prize. Still a few more days to vote. (If, of course, you think EXACERBYTE is worthy.)
Here's the link: Not-the-Booker 

In other news - I can't think of anything. Doesn't mean there isn't any, just means I broke my brain!
Synopsis writing is dangerous to ones mental health.

Some of my favorite ...

I was thinking, it might be kinda fun to share some scenes from The _Byte Series.
This is a harder than I thought - but still fun. Actually it's VERY hard and time consuming, but yep, still fun.


Killerbyte: (from chapter 13, The sound of silence.)

We stood together watching more flies emerge from the top of the curtain and buzz about the light bulb. I had hoped we’d enjoy at least a day’s reprieve before anything else happened. I watched another few flies emerge. Dammit!

“Oh, fuck-a-doodle-do. I’ll do it.” I edged forward with my hand outstretched and flicked the far side of the shower curtain. It barely moved. “Welcome to Friday night in Lexington.”

I stepped forward with more purpose. What’s the worst it can be? I ripped back the curtain in one fast movement. I had to swallow hard and clamp my hand over my mouth and nose. I heard Mac gag next to me. I gulped back bile and stared at the slumped body in the shower cubicle. Flies crawled all over it. I moved as close as I could. I tried not to breathe. Disgusting didn’t even come close to describing the mess. I couldn’t see anything distinguishable. I leaned in and lifted back a piece of torn fabric from what I thought was a sleeve. Maybe there’d be a watch or something that we might recognize. Vomit rose in my throat as I held the fabric out of the way enough to see what appeared to be a tattoo, a mermaid. Roy Matheson, DEA.

Oh, Jesus dammit. Roy is dead. 4urxtc was Roy!

“Roy.”

I stumbled back in an effort to get away. My feet slid on a small towel. I felt Mac’s hand brush past my arm as I fell.

I heard my name and Mac said, “Oh shit, this isn’t good.”

I tried to say ‘I’m okay’ but the darkness swallowed me.

When the night comes, it comes with vengeance. No gentle billowing of soft clouds, just thunderous black storms, pounding and unrelenting, shaking my soul.

Terrorbyte: (from Chapter 29, Kidnap an Angel.)

I looked at the carpet under my feet. That Sunday replayed for me in the pattern on the carpet. Lee and Caine emerged from a doorway at the end of the hall. Behind them I saw a surgeon. They both stopped and spoke to him. Then to each other. Caine and the surgeon hung back. It was Lee who walked towards me. A noise behind me made me turn. And I saw Sam. He was walking slowly, but he was walking. Sam stepped up beside me. There were no words that needed to be said. He stood so close I could feel the air pressure change as he breathed. We waited for Lee to deliver the news. Lee told me what I already knew.

We stood, the three of us, with our heads bowed, arms around each other in a tight circle. The three musketeers. Praskovya appeared. Lee and Sam dropped their arms, shuffling followed as Praskovya joined the circle. Shoulder to shoulder we stood alone in our silence. Caine came over; he tapped my shoulder. I moved my arm down and let him in.

There were no words to be said, and no words I wanted to hear.

And I still didn’t want to hear whatever it was everyone wanted to tell me.

The psychologist coughed. My vision faded back into the floor.

“Why do you say no one can help?” she repeated.

“I can’t see how anyone can help.”

She uncrossed her legs then crossed them again. It seemed like a pointless act.

“Why do you say that?”

I took a breath and stilled my inner grumblings. “Because it’s true.”

Exacerbyte: (from chapter 2, Another One Bites the Dust.)

Nothing I like better than waking up confused. My eyes took their own sweet time adjusting to being awake. A wispy aura of mystery shrouded everything. The ceiling above me was not mine; mine was pristine white. This one was watermarked, fly poop-covered and pale tan. I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Still had my boots on. Still had my clothes on. Both good things. I let my mind do a quick inventory of my limbs and pockets. I seemed intact but my pockets felt empty and I could tell I wasn’t wearing my holster. My dry mouth, the odd taste in the back of my throat and the nausea suggested drugs. Chloroform maybe. Does anyone still use that shit?

Sun filtered through grime-coated windows. The rays felt warm on my face as they slid between roughly-nailed boards. Boarded windows are never a good sign. I stood up. From nowhere a hand shoved me, tipping me off balance. I landed with a thump on the bed. A cloud of dust rose.

“What the fuck!”

Flashbyte: (from Chapter 24, It's All Coming Back To Me Now.)

“What the hell was that for?” Kurt asked, gawping at the cold coffee running down the wall.

“Why can’t I remember?” I snarled and struggled to my feet. “Why can’t I?”

Lee took a dish towel and started to wipe the wall.

Kurt sighed. “Come on, let’s see if we can figure this out,” he said to me. My feet didn’t walk, even though I told them to. “Ellie?”

Waves of anger rolled through me.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?”

His tone changed, he turned Special Agent on me. “Conway, sit back down.”

Swarming crazy thoughts of never filling in the gaps flooded over everything. Kurt took my hand. I slapped it away. My wrist twisted behind my back, in two strides the side of my face was pressed against a wall. I kicked backwards hoping to connect with his shins. Kurt’s grip tightened, he bent my wrist further. His object was instant submission and he achieved it

“Hit me once, shame on you … hit me twice, shame on me,” Kurt whispered in my ear.

“Everything okay over there?” Lee asked.

I couldn’t see him but I knew one word from me and Kurt would be on his ass. How could I know that and not remember my kid? She was just a name. I needed more than a name.

“We’re good,” Kurt replied. “Aren’t we Conway?”

“Yeah fuc’n awesome.”

Kurt released his grip a little. I pushed back, twisted, and pulled my arm free. I couldn’t even feel my ribs anymore. Blind rage flowed in my veins. My right fist connected with the side of Kurt’s face. My left hit him under the jaw. I connected face again with my right fist and the next thing I knew I was on the ground with Kurt straddling me. He had my arms pinned to the ground above my head. I bucked, getting my feet flat on the ground. His face was three inches above mine.
“Stop!”

“Get off me.”

“Calm the fuck down.”

“Get off!”

“No.”

Energy sparked. His eyes grew dark. His tongue flicked over his lips. Things stirred within me. “Doc, I …”

“Yeah, Conway,” his voice matched mine. Quiet, husky, unsteady.

So close.

He rolled off me and lay on the floor. Lee looked down at me.

 “You two kids had enough now?” he asked, reaching out for my hand to help me up.

Soundbyte: (from Chapter 13, To the Fire. WIP)

I was in bad shape. First Kurt and the Kevin Costner thing and now Misha is something from a trashy romance novel. I was seconds away from seeing him as Doctor Luka Kovač from ER. And it wouldn’t be the first time Misha had become Luka to me. I had to do something to stop the insanity. I was in a room full of larger than life men and had no privacy to speak of, so no hope of a quick and dirty phone call to Rowan.

I tried to concentrate on the relationship between Iain Campbell and John Brown. We knew Iain was army with a classified record and Brown didn’t exist. So where did they meet. Where would someone like Campbell meet a non-existent killer like Brown?

And what did it have to do with the Bleich family? And the Sutherlands? And Maria Doyle was what to whom? And who was actually related to whom? I was starting to fully appreciate the Days of our Lives aspect of the case. All that was missing was someone lying comatose at the bottom of a set of stairs and another person buried in an avalanche and we’d have the makings of about five new episodes. Which led me to wonder which one was Tony DiMera and which of the players was Roman Brady. Of course he could be played by several actors and lose his memory numerous times and chances are he was related to everyone. Then it hit me, Mark Valley wasn’t just Christopher Chance he played Jack Deveraux in Day of Our Lives. Intertwined relationships were everywhere. Pretty sure Deveraux was played by several actors over time.

The tangents spun on and on. The darkness climbing higher. Mac leaned over a thick concrete wall covered in graffiti, his voice echoed into a brick alley way, “Come on, babe. You can do this.”

I blocked out the soap opera aspect of my earlier thoughts and focused on one fact. One thing I did know. Four members of one family were dead. That I knew was truth. Clawing fingers reaching for that last solid thought trying to drag it into the abyss. I watched as the Bleich parents contorted in agony as they were sucked downward into a fiery pit.

“Earth to Ellie.”

Flames leapt and the whole room smelled like a barbeque.

* * *


That was fun, but very very difficult to choose scenes.

Sometimes late at night

Or even so late it's early in the morning - sleep is elusive. Actually some nights sleep is a fickle bitch and just won't play the freaking game.

Once upon a time it used to bother me... I'd be worried about being tired and cranky the next day. Now, screw it. The more you worry about the lack of sleep the less likely it is that you'll get to sleep.

So, instead of laying in bed awake and annoying myself. I get up, come downstairs, fire up the laptop, and wake up the dog. (The latter being a bi-product of my being in his space not because I've intended to wake him up... in all fairness, he's a Greyhound - he can sleep anywhere and through anything.)

Because I couldn't come up with a decent reason as to why I am awake - that doesn't include the FULL MOON - I thought I'd use this time (my eyes are burning, cos I am that tired... yet sleep remains just out of reach) to catch up on reading blogs and so forth.

Then I thought, maybe I could write, words accompanied by the sounds of Romeo dreaming... writing while truly knackered, is never a good idea. Way too much deleting involved for my liking.
Plus, there is a good chance my characters will fall asleep.
Can you imagine? The middle of a fight scene and some kind of Sleeping Beauty thing happens and everyone just falls over in a deep sleep. I wouldn't want to be the one who has the sleeping guy with a knife fall on him. I'm thinking not everyone is going to be waking up.

Of course - I could blog... can't wait to see this one in the morning! lol

Action Man is off running amok with big guns tomorrow. So, it will be a fairly quiet Sunday here. If the weather holds for the morning, I'll take Romeo to the park.

Today was fun. Dogs, kids, big people - good fun.

and now for this... :)

What was I saying?

It's been like that all day. Every time I had a thought someones voice interrupted and erased it. You try writing a book with a little person yabbering incessantly in the background, and half the time it wasn't even to me, it was just noise.

Yeah, it made me cranky. Very cranky. It didn't matter what I was trying to do, the noise would not stop. So, the synopsis for Flashbyte is still not finished. And I only got to polish one scene in Soundbyte, and even then, it took me hours!! Not to mention spending two hours trying to find three mailing addresses. *bashes head into desk*

And when I put on the new DVD she wanted to watch, she announced she had a headache and it was too loud. It was Bon Jovi. I ended up listening to music via headphones and not watching the DVD and then a little face kept appearing at my elbow. No I couldn't hear her, but that didn't stop her trying to be heard. Meanwhile I was trying to get some work done. Anything constructive done would've made me feel like I was achieving. Turned out she didn't want anything, just to say hello.
*bashes head into desk again*

It feels like I spent all day saying, "Shush."

There was a bright spot today  - it was brief but it was there.

Crime Watch. - pop through the link and check out the competition that Craig is running, it's dead easy to enter... so easy, and you stand to win 8 awesome kiwi novels. And just in case you're not sure... I am a kiwi writer therefore a picture of you with one of my books will get you in the draw!! :) Way you go, make me smile.

Actually to be fair, there was another bright spot too - I had the most awesome dream last night, of course that could've been magnificent inspiration to write (had the noise not been so pervasive). Fabulous action packed MacGyver and Christopher Chance in my dream. Most marvelous.

Mark Valley has a smirk that just works. Uh huh. It does. Trying to hold onto that for a little bit, because I just know it will help me finish this book. (Have huge action scene to write and need all the help I can get!)

Smirk. Yep. A smirk.

Quick update!

Yes someone you know is on the long list...

Not-the-booker
Isn't that exciting. Finally, being part of the Commonwealth is useful. :) And yes, anyone can vote (actually I'm not sure about that, anyone from the Commonwealth can vote, others may have to check)

Off you go now - make me proud.

That would go a long way to erasing the night of coughing - five hours of coughing, poor kid. She's finally asleep now.

WARNING: Graphic post: because blood is popular - let's face it it's vital to our survival!

Here again is the blood recipe:

* 1/2 cup water
* 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
* 3 or 4 tablespoon corn syrup (glucose syrup - over here)
* 1/2 to 1 teaspoon red food coloring
* 2 drops yellow or green food coloring (optional - I didn't need it)

Mix
the cocoa powder thoroughly into the water before adding the other
ingredients - it may help to use warm water. After adding the rest,
blend the concoction well, and then wait for it to settle a bit.

This is what it looks like - in use.

I have kept back the truly horrific photos - simply because I hate looking at them. :)

But, the blood itself - pretty awesome... and delicious. Tastes like chocolate - bit sticky to remove, so you'll need to use soap and water... and it stains.

Enjoy!

Sometimes chapter one isn't

In fact often chapter one isn't... and even though it's a great chapter, it's not THE first chapter. Sometimes it takes me a while to figure that out.

This morning while I was avoiding work like the plague... and lacking in inspiration, it occurred to me (yeah, nah, it wasn't that easy... it took turning off the radio and listening to the first two tracks from the first CD of 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans can't be wrong before it hit me like a sledge hammer.)
By the time I'd heard the first 2 CD's from that album I knew what the first chapter had to be and had written it.

Hello... the freaking book is called Soundbyte, that should've been a big fat clue, right?

So, anyway, now it starts with a rock concert. And I like it much more.  Much more. Its fun, engaging, and sets the tone for the rest of the book.
We have our chapter one.

While I was reading future byte manuscripts this morning (I have two other Byte books sitting here, not counting Flashbyte and Soundbyte.) I discovered something else. One of them will never see daylight, because I hate it with a passion. The other is the final Byte novel, and not ready for daylight for a few years yet.
That's quite possibly one of those things that only I care about.

You might recall zombies being of interest to me lately?
Nah, that's all you get. :)
And let's hope the Twitterverse has a short memory.

(A word of warning, it's very easy to leave out the w in twitterverse.)

Today's favorite song.

The stuff nightmares are made of

Not many things bother me... they just don't. But there are a few things that get under my skin for no apparent reason. They might be a little like phobias  - but quite frankly they're not unreasonable, so maybe not phobias just an intense dislike?

The first thing - Ships hulls. Yep, that's right and yet I'm an excellent sailor. I just can't walk near a ship at the dock or the ultimate horror... a ship in dry dock. And wrecks... forget it. I can't go anywhere near a wreck.
Past life maybe, who knows?

And then comes missing body parts. Holy crap. Seriously, scares the bejesus outta me. This may have some basis in life. A three legged dog at petrol station when I was a kid springs to mind... terrified me when I went to pat it and realised it had a leg missing.
Now, keep the missing limb thing in mind...

I'd show you a picture of what I can see in my head... but someone is bound to complain about it being 'violent' or just because people like to complain. So, I'll share a scene with you from exacerbyte... which is where the photos came from anyway. (Don't panic there are no pictures in the book! - The photos were taken for a book trailer that never happened - I gave up asking.)


Exacerbyte by Cat Connor
- excerpt.

I knew I had to acknowledge the scene in front of me, beside me, dripping from the walls around me.

“Doc, we got blood. We got brain matter and assorted tissue stuck on walls.”

“I’m right here,” he said from next to me. A gloved hand pointed to a baseball bat partially concealed by the bedding. “That’s the kind of weapon I’d expect to find.”

“Okay, so someone beat the snot out of him with a baseball bat and then hacked him into pieces with something sharp.”

Lee called from the bathroom. “I gotta head.” A few seconds later he added, “And both feet and his hands.”

“Awesome.” I turned slowly on the spot taking in the entire room.

...
excerpt cont'd

Sean was standing nearby and had something to say. “While I was making enquiries in the kitchen, the head chef told me two heavy and very expensive meat cleavers went missing last night.”

“Doc? Cleavers?”

He was leaning over a section of leg inspecting the bone. “Could’ve been a cleaver. It wasn’t a saw.”

I swallowed as hard as I could but there was no stopping the gagging. My hand clamped over my mouth as I ran for the hallway. On the way past Sean, he thrust an empty paper evidence bag into my hand.

.....

And that concludes the nightmares for tonight. In a metal case in the wardrobe - part of the whole book trailer kit we've built up - are hands and feet. They're realistic and fucn horrible. I know they're there... and it creeps me out.

I know, it's weird, I can write it... but I can't look at it not even when it's pretend.

One more thing... I don't understand why IE or Blogger or maybe it's a combination screws the font up, every time a freaking coconut! So annoying!!!

I do like mondays.

This morning is sunny - the temperature has climbed from a chilly (okay freaking cold) -2.8 to something warmer, -1.  Regardless of the frost on the ground it's a beautiful day.

Yes, I had to scoop a steaming pile of dog poop on the way to school.... and walk it to school and home again. Nice. But, it's still a lovely day.

Now, I'm waiting on a plumber. Having drain issues.

Breezy is at school, but Squealer is not - due to a horrendous headache and a tummy ache. Something more is going on there, and I will get to the bottom of it. Tis sounding very much like anxiety - which seems to be a factor this year but was much lessened last year. Different teacher. This one is not as good for Squealer as her former teacher.
She had only one day off last year and this year there have been a constant parade of illnesses and symptoms. I'm not impressed.

So, today, I should be able to get some work done. Romeo has been walked and is asleep. Think he's still sleeping off yesterdays fun.

Wish I was.

So cold outside!

Currently - good thoughts and positive vibes would be a bonus. Just think movie/tv and killerbyte. That'll help. :D

I hear Bon Jovi's - Bad name on Classic hits - that's my cue to get to work. - Thanks for that guys. :)

Y'all take care now.

Sunday:The usual suspects

This was our morning.
Such a beautiful day and so much fun for both kids and dogs.

So today we found out that our boy can RUN. Holy crap he's fast, but he was holding back - he was just trying to catch Cleo not beat her. He did get a bit nippy on it too - will muzzle him next time, so we don't have to call him off.

Romeo had a blast showing Cleo his favorite place.

All in all, an awesome morning.

The kids did a lot of running too... and gathered evidence? Hmmm, me thinks my Breezy child is influencing the others!!

Now to the stupidmarket - and hopefully I'll be able to get some work done this afternoon. Kids and dog - exhausted.

The times the are a-changin

Yes, they are.

Things are moving, spring is coming, change is in the air. All good.

I'm currently trying to finish writing the 5th Byte - Soundbyte - almost done! The end will kill you. Seriously. People. It's a gut wrencher like never before. So, yay, you have that to look forward to after Flashbyte and before ... crap... I can't remember the byte after Soundbyte.
Oh well, it'll come to me. Or Eric will slap me upside the head by way of a reminder. :)

Meanwhile on a non-byte note.
Working my fingers to nubs on the new kiwi mystery that I have big plans for - with a little help from my pal/sister in Vermont, Sara J Henry. (There is series potential - and a lot of future story ideas have come from an awesome friend/ex-cop/all-round-good-guy - Mike, that would be you.)
It's not easy writing a new set of characters after working with Ellie and Delta for so long. I've not yet warmed to the new set nor can I write them as easily - that will come. By the time I finish, and put a few layers of polish on this story, I'll be all over these characters.

It's kinda fun going totally kiwi. Harder than I thought. But fun.

Y'all will get an education, that's for sure.

And somehow I need to work in my favorite Tui billboard - (Megan no offense you know we love you but every time this makes me laugh and think of you... )

It's not a walk of shame, it's the stroll of success. - Yeah right!

Thursday already... that's some crazy shite!

It's been a week. Not an overly wonderful one, but a week nonetheless.

Work was slow in the beginning of the week, concentration lacking - probably the joy of having a silent house during the day. I got more done than I thought, which is always good.

Yesterday - Squealer had a hospital appointment and then blood tests. Bang! there went four hours. Pretty much wrote the day off. I ended up working late last night, hadn't intended to but I worked until midnight and it wasn't too bad. I read it this morning and despite it being a little rough, the scenes are pretty good. Even fun.

Today, Breezy is home. I'm sick of her waking me up every night coughing - pretty sure she's sick of it too. So it's back to the doc this afternoon. I also want her ears checked again - it worries me that she had such persistent ears infections over the holidays - and she's still on antibiotics.

I managed to get some work done this morning - despite Breezy and her annoying ways.

Also discovered just how well she can read - which would be hard for me to judge by her homework as she dicks around something chronic with that and drives me nuts! Seems she can read quite well, over my shoulder while I'm writing. Good to know. I will keep that in mind as write the next crime scene.

Sneak peek at a scene from Soundbyte (the 5th Byte) WIP?  Okay - here ya go.

Excerpt: Soundbyte.

“You’re smiling,” Kurt said. “What are you up to?”

“Eyes on the road buddy. Mind your business,” I said reading the flurry of incoming tweets.

And to think I’d wanted to ditch twitter after the Mailbox killer started sending chopped up bodies to some of the people, including me, who were using the #wheresmymail hash tag. An involuntary shudder rocked my body. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a psycho mail carrier. Yeah, my mind is a twisted place. Anyone looking in would be confused by my thoughts. Hell, I’m confused by my thoughts.

“You all right?” Kurt asked.

“Surprisingly. Yes. I. Am.”

“What’s going on in that head of yours Conway?”

“If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck… it’s probably a duck.”

That did it. Kurt pulled off the road.

“We’re talking about ducks now?”

“No, Campbell.”

“Campbell is a duck?”

I could imagine him making a call to a secure psych facility on my behalf.

“No, Campbell is a soldier, he’s got a plan. This is all part of it. He’s leading us somewhere and he’ll have tactical advantage.”

Tweetdeck fail!

I can't seem to turn Tweetdeck off and get any work done. So, in all fairness I am blaming Tweetdeck for this fail. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. There is no way my lack of will power can be attributed to me. So there. (And I did poke my tongue out, what of it?)

I'm having fun this morning. I am. Twitter has days when it's really fun, and today is one of them.

Which doesn't change the fact that I did get a solid bit of writing in (about 20 pages, so not too shabby!) this morning.

It's come to my attention that I need to organise my notes. Usually I am really good (quite anal about it, really) about using separate notebooks for each novel. But since returning from the USA, it's all gone to hell in a hand basket. There are two notebooks - one upstairs and one (wait for it....) down. But they're buggered up and have notes for THREE books in them. And really getting the kiwi one mixed into the Byte novels is NOT a clever idea. Then, there are the two notebooks I had in the States, which are still in my handbag and I'm still using them when I'm out and about.
There needs to be some consolidation. I'm forgetting where I wrote things and that's not cool.
And if that's not bad enough, I've been writing notes in my day planner. (I suppose I may as well, I hardly ever remember to put appt. etc in it!)
And of course none of this has even touched on the horrendous amount of notes sitting in One Note on both computers. Maybe I'll just ignore one Note for now?

I have about a month before I'll get the next round of edits from Jayne at Rebel - plenty of time to finish the first kiwi novel, finish the 5th Byte novel, and sort my shit out. (or notes if you prefer)

Might have to give myself a deadline or two to ensure it happens though.

As you were... I shall delve back into the chaos that once was order.