Friday, September 9, 2011

Things that amused me today...

Bits and pieces from an unnamed manuscript with some very familar players -


“What’s up?”

“Bird poop.”

“Pardon?”

Lee sighed his shoulders slumped as if it was hard work. “The rangers found bird shit on the body.”

“We’re in the woods.” I failed to see any relevance to bird poop. From what I could tell by the state of the roof of my car there were many birds in the woods. Many pooping squawking dive bombing car dirtying birds.

He nodded. “They also noted hair pulled from the back of the scalp.”

“Okay, so a bird shit on the woman and pulled out some hair… you might want to put a BOLO out.” I knew there was smirk lurking on my lips but was powerless to control it. There it was, the image of Lee asking law enforcement in the area to Be on the Look Out for a bird. “Do they know what sort of bird? Catbird? Sparrow? Cock-a-fucn-too?”

“I hate delivering messages,” Lee grumbled.

“Is the bird a witness or an accomplice? Are we looking at a bird for murder?”

Lee growled then grumbled, “I wish it was Sam who’d talked to the Rangers. They said it was a biggish bird. I’m guessing not a sparrow.”

“What about the other victims? Do they recall any other bird evidence?”

“One reckons he saw bird poop on one other body for sure.”

“You see how much more info those Rangers can dredge up. We’re going to need to review the autopsy and forensics reports with regard to bird excrement and missing hair. I’ll go back to Mr. Creswell.” I grinned at Lee. “You’re amazing, you told me all that without flinching, I am in awe. You’re an incredible man.”

“I know, I know, the bird shit will haunt me almost as much as screaming tweenies.”

Lee and I grinned at each other, good times. With a shrug of his broad shoulders, he headed back across the parking lot toward the nest of police cars.


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