Thursday, May 19, 2011

It shouldn't be so hard...

In today’s blog we will discuss the seemingly impossible task of filling a form in correctly.


Yep, it can’t be done.

And yet I used to LOVE filling in forms.

I wonder if I ever have managed to do it correctly though… well of course I did, when the US State Department asked me if I was a terrorist or a spy, I managed to concentrate and tick NO. Actually, to be perfectly honest – it wasn’t easy, part of me wanted to tick YES just to see what would happen…
Today the form was relatively simple… no one wanted to know if I was a spy. (Whew! No temptation to – see what happens next…)

I had to fill in a dental enrollment form for Breezy.

Simple?

Fuck no.

It was full of stupid questions like “home phone number” – I’m supposed to know that? Ridiculous. I put down my cell, that one I do know. Last time the home phone rang I answered my cell anyway – well I don’t expect the damn phone on my desk to ring!
Doctor’s name and phone number? Oh please, as if anyone has ONE particular doctor any more… they’re almost all shared practices and it’s whoever is available… not enough room on form to write, Marko, Franz, Cathy, Ben, Kim, and Cheryl. As for the phone number, um, that’s on a magnet on the fridge… do I really have to go and find it? Surely dentists have a list of doctors’ practices on hand?

And why exactly would a school dentist need the doctor’s number? Don’t answer that, it’s called a rhetorical question. (Which means I don’t actually care enough to want an answer.)
My favorite question is ‘Ethnic origin’: I like to tick ‘other’ then say New Zealander. Because, that is not on the list… I know, where the fuck do we live??
And the question I really and truly screwed up: Names and ages of children in same family.
Seriously? How is that in the least bit to do with the kid in question??

Big Brother can go jump in the lake… they’ll never decipher my shocking hand writing and fully buggered up answers. I even managed to sign in the WRONG place.


On the grounds that today I seem too stupid to breath unaided I am not working… can you imagine?


Although had this bloody form asked about anything to do with death, maiming, and information gathering… I would have nailed it right off the bat.

This blog post was bought to you by bugs on a plane and Codral.

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