Sunday, April 10, 2011

PART TWO - the Spoof

So we arrived in SFO... we met the lovely Joe... and we discussed how awesome AirNZ is, correct?

The next joyful experience was NOT.

We boarded a United airline flight to DC.

Five hours of hell.

Yep, United don't understand service, smile, or well.... anything really. They're shit. From the moment we sat down - Admin Bubbles two rows behind me, Admin Rose two behind her... we knew it was gonna be shit.
The plane was a tin can with wings.
I was between two large men who were incapable of speech. The crew were nothing more than bar staff who couldn't pour a drink. None of their uniforms matched. They were incapable of taking control of anything, that included passengers... and they didn't know how to smile! I actually wondered if any of them could speak.

Stark contrast really.

AirNZ crew were awesome - fun, entertaining, welcoming.

So back to the hell flight. My first impression? Spoof airline. I mean seriously what airline could actually get everything wrong? well that would be United.

The airplane was nothing more than a tin cans with seats. Five hours of NOTHING TO DO. No personal TV screen, no headphones, no way of seeing the screen at the front of the main cabin... and no food! We did get orange juice or coffee. Both of which could've had help by a/ real oranges and b/ actual coffee beans.
It's not like we were offered food. But they were more than willing to sell snack boxes at ridiculously high prices - but no cash thanks we want your credit card... ummm... go fuck yourself!

Now I know what cattle class actually is.

We will never again fly United Airlines. The plane was in serious need of a refit and the crew needed training in... how to crew an airplane and not  - how to serve drinks poorly.

And the hell didn't end upon landing. I think Dulles must be punishing United for being so shit cos they made us  use carousal 3. Two escalators down one train ride, one escalator up and a long walk later we met carousal three.

Okay, admittedly it's a lovely airport but I didn't really need to see so much of it after such a shit plane trip. :)

Thank God the cab ride to our hotel was quick.

And tomorrow... Day one Virginia... and maybe day two. :)


Sara J. Henry said...

In the US, fly Southwest, and Southwest only. Otherwise, drive or take a train. Seriously.

Cat Connor said...

Not flying in the US again - thank God! although bit worried about flying Air Canada to Canada! Might be another horror. Thankfully we're flying AirNZ again on the long haul home.

JETaylor said...

Our airlines have gone to hell in a handbasket. As Sara said, the only one where the crew smiles anymore is Southwest. But even then, I don't think they serve food anymore either. It is quite like shuffling cattle from one place to another these days.

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