Maybe someday

This morning - we woke early, me and Breezy. It's what we do. Ever since she first got sick I can rely on her to be up between 5 and 6, if indeed she sleeps at all. Last night she coughed ALL night. But never so bad she couldn't breathe, just annoying for her and making sleep not so restful.

This morning she's been dancing and singing - I've found out why she seems to be talking VERY loudly. Her ears are blocked and she can't hear herself properly. Not surprising really.

So while Miss Squealer is off at her weekly Psych appt Breezy is bugging the hell out of me wanting to use my computer, or Josh's (she's not that fussy). Today the answer is no.

I've been working. And I don't want to be 'helping' her every two seconds, or watching what she's doing. No reason why she can't go play with toys, read, watch TV... anything QUIETLY.

This morning I lost a gold earring. I am loathe to mention this to Chris. This will be the third earring over the last few years. I'm hoping it's caught in my tee shirt - or stuck in a towel or something. Wonder why it's always the right earring that gets lost? It's not like they're cheap either. Oh no. I only lose expensive earrings. (Needless to say I live in dread of someone remembering I had diamond studs. -yeah HAD.)

Apart from that - writing is going well.

I'm both writing a new book and revising the third Conway novel (exacabyte) - while waiting to hear back from my editor. The new one has caused a few headaches. Mainly because friend Eric is co-writing. But not really. He's writing from the perspective of a 15 yr old girl (interesting position for a late 30's male to be in) and his story runs parallel to mine. But ya see -the way I work is I don't discuss what I write. I write it. When it's written then there is room for discussion. And he, is slowly grasping that I can't enter into discussions about where his character is at and whats happening. I don't want to know. All that will do is wreck what I'm doing. (I'm a nightmare!)

They're stand alone stories that run parallel and my character may or may not ever meet his. Therefore there is no need for me to know anything - and I don't want to know anything! I like writing in the dark. My plot, ideas, characters like it too. They like to assume control and tell me the story as they see it. We're all very resistant to interference. They'll stop talking, I'll stop writing - it's a fragile balance we have.

After reading the 80 odd pages I'd written (I sent them to Eric to shut him up and prove a point) he now sees that everything will work out. It's the joy.

In some ways I guess I'm a lot like Ellie. I don't always know where things come from but it all works out in the end. She gets messages, information from some strange places - songs mostly. I do too. I find that I listen to songs that help me, without knowing they'll help me at the time. I also tend to know stuff with no rational explanation for such knowledge.

I just go with it.

Ya know I think it's mostly about trusting yourself. Something you learn when you have kids. Trusting your own instincts. Believing in one’s self and your ability to pull it together.

On that note... I just started writing chapter 13. Listening to Bon Jovi's 100,000,000 fans can't be wrong and The one that got away. Looks like music is speaking. On with 13!

Y'all take care.

Chocolate fudge

Chocolate fudge

Current mood: tired
Category: Writing and Poetry

What has chocolate fudge to do with writing... well... as it turns out, not a fuc'n thing.

I made fudge tonight.

I took Breezy back to the doctor today - couldn't tolerate the sheer stupidity of the nurse I spoke to at the doc's surgery. Probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard from a health professional and it still pisses me off that she'd even suggest FORCING a mask and spacer onto a child struggling to breath who can't stop vomiting or coughing.

As far as we know Breezy is not like Squealer as in - no Aspergers etc. BUT she's young and it's not always obvious in the very young...so the likely hood of her developing an intense phobia of all medicines and the need for psychiatric intervention because someone changed the shape of the pill she has to take - are slim. BUT - I will not sacrifice the trust she has in us for some misguided stupidity advised by someone who 'Has never heard of a child who refused a spacer' before! Sheer fuc'n stupidity! (and no she's not a young nurse)

So anyway - over that - not, but I'll shut up about it.

The child needed new antibiotics. The lost lot didn't work. She still has an ear and throat infection. Then there was talk of Whooping cough - which it is not. I know whooping cough. This is not whooping cough. Especially when she's had 'whatever this is' before -a year ago. Upshot is - steroids for three days.

So far tonight -so good. She is asleep and hasn't yet woken coughing and the bed is not covered in vomit as it has been every night for the last nearly 3 weeks.

There ya go - that's the update.

Am I getting any work done?

Hell no.

I sent the manuscript of terrorbyte back to lovely Jayne last Friday. Hopefully I shall hear back soon on that.

Release date is Nov 10th.

Release party Nov 7th. (show of hands... ) We're doing BBQ and desserts. Seemed like a good idea. Can't be tossed with salad and dicking around. Red meat and lots of desserts and plenty of wine.

The lemon meringue pie I made the other day was superb. Chris was delighted.

Right I might see if the muse (or Ellie) will talk to me.

Y'all take care.

Cat xx

Lemon Meringue Pie and Seagate drives

I'm going to have to post a picture of this pie. It's too delicious!

Doesn't that just look yummy??

I'm sure when I was lying awake half the night I actually had a blog idea. And this wasn't it. That much I do know. It had something to do with yesterday's topic.

I was kinda hoping it would resurface now that I've had a coffee.

Apparently not.

I'll get back to you on that!

Meanwhile I'm having pie for breakfast. Yes that's right. I am.

Now to see if I can figure out the instructions to patch my Seagate hard drive... seems the brand NEW computer is starting to hang. Which is a known problem with this drive. (so I found out when I got it home, you wankers at Noel Lemmings in U/Hutt have a lot to answer for) The thing is the instructions make NO sense. For some weird reason I have to download all the info (that Seagate sent via HP) to three freaking CD's before installing it. I don't have CD's. Why the hell would I? I backup to my external drive, and flash/thumb drives. BUT even if I did have CD's on hand the instructions make no sense at all.

I think I'll call Noel Lemmings in Lower Hutt today and ask them to get someone to come deal with this. After all - I was sold a machine with a KNOWN fault with its hard drive. Someone shoulda said something. AND - at the very least provided me with the required blank CD's and a discount would've been nice too -after all, we paid cash.

(But I will not, ever, deal with the idiots at the U/Hutt store again.)

Gee - wonder where I will buy the laptop I'm after? let's see... won't be Dicks Smiths upstairs in Queensgate - stupidity abounds there. Won't be Noel Lemmings in U/Hutt. My cash will be spent somewhere that grasps the meaning of SALES and SERVICE (and a cash discount, lol).

Hopefully my snappy blog idea will come back soon. :-) Had something to do with over zealous fan types not understanding boundaries.

It's just me.

Let's try this again shall we? The first blog attempt failed!

This morning (Monday and the first day of the Spring school holidays, typically it's pouring with rain) I woke early, cos that's what I do, and while drinking my coffee - I jumped into a chat room to see if there was anyone around I knew.

Well there wasn't.

So while working on a new scene within Exacabyte I watched the conversation. I'm happy to report the same old stuff is still happening - I haven't been in many chat rooms since KILLERBYTE, if you've read KILLERBYTE you'd know why.

My writing continued, occasionally I looked up at the chat window on my screen. A couple of times I wished I hadn't. And the conversation never really improved from semi-literate text speak, I was imagining squealing and flapping of hands in all directions... I don't think I'm wrong in that regard.

Lately - well since June really when the research began in earnest (but I had no idea I was conducting research initially-you're just going to have to go with that!)- it has occurred to me that some people never move past that tweenie phase of clamoring after pop stars, TV stars, and movie stars. The sort of total immersion in something unattainable that is expected in the young because they don't have any real responsibilities. They're free to buy everything available, cover their walls in posters - especially those large full size kissable ones and do whatever they can to attempt to meet the idol of the moment. And parents feed this obsession, knowing it's normal, harmless and will fade away as the child grows. (This is fascinating to me and not just because that's topical to what I'm currently working on - but you didn't hear that from me, lol)

Only when you're pushing 30 or 40 or 50 for that matter it stops being cute and boarders on full-blown obsession. (In some instances it moves ways past a seemingly harmless obsession and becomes full on psychotic stalking behavior - danger danger Will Robinson.)

Maybe I'm looking for it, and if that's the case I'm finding it. Recently I have noticed a lot of scary possessive stalking type behaviors on a par with Rose from Two and half Men floating free out there on the net, and they're making contact with others who are like minded. (Not always within the controlled environments set up for ease of monitoring of such things by management and threat assessors... lol) These people seem incapable of reason. They don't grasp that the object of their affection is unattainable. Is entitled to privacy. Is NOT public property. Is a person who has a life away from the glitz and glamour they perceive. At no point does the 'object' become human. There is no light that goes on with the truly obsessed that indicates they've stepped over the line.

It makes me want to reach into my screen and shake them until they wake up and see that whoever they're idolizing is just a person - like them - like me. Underneath we're all the same.

What amuses me the most is that once upon a time in a land far far away... there were two young girls who wrote, 'The Book.' They were 13 years old. NOT 30 and upwards. But 13. And 'The Book' was fan fiction and fairly innocent because, well, at 13 what did they know? (Although the term Fan Fiction didn't exist back at the dawn of time, that's what it was. Keep that in mind.)

I've had the misfortune over the last few years to read quite a bit of this new 'fan fiction' written by people who chronologically are not 13. Let me just say, most 13 year olds can punctuate and spell way better than what I've seen of late - what's more I've seen better plot development and dialog coming from the pen of my 10 year old. (No surprise there really.) The other thing to note is the subject matter of these fan type stories I've seen - what isn't porn borders on porn. What appears to have happened is that 'The Book' grew up, but didn't grow a better plot - it just got dirtier. LOL

On that note. I'm going to go write this scene, safe in the knowledge that things haven't changed much since I ran chat rooms and they're still havens for misfits and the dangerously obsessed, with the occasional sprinkling of intelligence and good conversation.

Is it just me that looks at TV shows and movies - scene by scene and wonders how many takes it took? Acting is a job. (I still enjoy the movie or show... but I can see the work it took in the background, ya know?)

There is no mystery here. Famous people still live normal lives... behind closed doors they have lives!

I must go have my breakfast -before I pull out my soap box and start telling you all what I think of THOSE horrendous glossy magazines full of bullshit and gossip.

Lost highway -it ain't!

Last night I whizzed through terrorbyte again - hoping to see anything I'd missed or failed to explain. I left a few comments for my beloved editor and sent the manuscript through. With a smile.

I then poured a glass of wine and settled back to do an interview for Blazing Trailers. That was fun. A lot of fun. Huge choice of questions and I chose the maximum allowed. Onto my second glass of wine and the interview swam along nicely!

Once finished I sent it off. Blazing Trailers will let me know when it's up - i know, because that's what this morning’s email said. :-)

I turned my attention to book numbers 3 and 4.

Currently listening to Bon Jovi's Lost Highway because I'm back working on book 3. (Exacabyte) This book is fun - in a smart assed yet gut wrenching sort of way. Could even be my favorite... which is a pretty huge statement to make. I adore killerbyte, I think terrorbyte rocks big time... and yet Exacabyte might be my favorite. You can imagine how much joy its giving me to be revising that particular manuscript. The whole time I have the WIP - Satellite/pedabyte mulling around in my head too.

Everything that happens now in Exacabyte has an impact on Ellie - as did everything else that came before. Life is a chain reaction and so it is with my main characters life. It gives so much more depth as she journeys knowing where she's been and how she got to the point she's in now. As uncomfortable as some of her experiences are, they all helped create her.

So that's my weekend. In a nut shell. Lost Highway. Writing. Exacabyte. Satellite.

This song that I mentioned the other day - is really bugging me. I found myself toying with it again last night, just briefly. I think that will be how it goes for a while. I'll fiddle with it as the mood strikes me and hopefully something will come of it. I suppose I can share the title. Nothing much to be gleaned from that - unless you are in my head? If so... get out, you weren't invited! Portrait in a Messenger Window.

I cranked the volume for 'We Got it Going On.' Miss Breezy cannot keep still when this song plays. It would kill her to not be able to move!

Damn my eye is twitching -did someone mention the frau?

Okay back to work. It may be Saturday and the first day of the Spring school holidays but I got words that long to be photons on a display screen.

So why aren't you dead?

So why aren’t you dead?

No prizes for guessing I'm listening to Bon Jovi. But despite that - I find the "So why aren't you dead?" question comes up a lot. Especially when I'm writing. People need to learn to annoy me less. :)

I've actually had a mostly music free day. (You cannot count Hi 5 as music, you just can't) But that's come to an end. I've finished the scene that confused me. Well the scene didn't confuse me at all really but a comment about it did. Turns out I 'was' that stupid, and I discovered the reference point and fixed the confusion. (Cell phones can be tricksy things)

The Breezy monster is still sick, although she is trying hard not to be. Good for her, I'm sure the persistence will pay off eventually -probably about the same time as the antibiotics kick in. I wonder if I should bother dressing her. It's 1:30pm and she's still in her jammies. But at least she's warm and comfy. Seems silly to alter a good thing.

Well I spent three minutes moving 50 songs to new folders. When I ripped '100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans can't be wrong' to my PC. (Cos I really hate changing CD's) All the songs landed in ONE folder. Now they're in their correct album folders (1-4). So much easier.

A song came to me this morning. It started with a title. At first I thought it was a poem. (And I suppose it could be -I could call it performance art and get Chrissy to perform it. - that might be one of those 'had to be there moments'.)

Anyway - this song/poem/piece of art (oh how I'm laughing) came to me. Life would be a lot easier if I were less lazy and could be in the least bit bothered about going upstairs and dragging my guitar out from the girls closet. But I am. It's cold up there. I could of course just grab Chris's. But that some how seems wrong. (I have no qualms about covering it in blood when the time comes to create the Exacabyte trailer -but don't wanna play it. Hmm odd.)

Such is life.

I have some pretty cool lyrics, I'd love to share it. Except - it's one HUGE spoiler. So, nah!

I feel better now.

That was almost as much fun as telling Eric off.

Oh yeah, won another five dollars on a scratchy. Good times!

We rule the night

We rule the night... well not so much rule as cough, splutter and cry all night - which I guess is ruling it when you're 3, because here I am blogging before any normal person is up. We've been awake since 2ish.

Breezy is snuggled on the couch with blankets watching 'Fairly Odd Parents' between bouts of coughing, crying and snotting.

I'm waiting for the doctor to open. She's been sick over a week, was getting better and now has a sore throat that woke her at 2 and a temperature that's now climbed back to 38.8. Time for some medical intervention and we're now out of Pamol.

I'm pretty sure that wasn't the reason for this blog. I'm getting there.

I'm almost through the revisions of terrorbyte. It's been fun. It's always fun when I get to add stuff - smart assed stuff. I have only one scene to tweak - and two that I've left comments on because I don't understand the comment my editor made. Occasionally, I'm thick like that. I've read them several times over the last few days and I still don't get it.

Later today I will get friend Eric (writing buddy and coffee maker) to read the passages in question. Then ask him some questions regarding said passages. It'll be fun -like a comprehension test from school. :) I shall of course copy them without comments to a nice clean file first. Don't want him swayed in any way.

He's started calling me Boss. I always get Jethro Gibbs in the 'what NCIS character are you' quizzes... that and I told him off Gibbs fashion the other day for interrupting my thought process and telling me about some changes he thought would be cool in the WIP.

We do not share 'changes' or talk about the WIP until I've written it. Otherwise I will not write it. (What's the point writing something if you've talked about all over the place and know all there is to know and how it ends? where's the fun in that?) It has to be my way - it's how I work. Beginning -middle -end, and no one knows what it's about until I'm done. No advice is ever sought during the initial writing phase. No discussion entered into. My own family has no clue what I'm working on except that it's an Ellie Conway story.

So yeah, I'm Boss. Which I suspect makes him the Elf Lord although he got Caitlin in the NCIS quiz and that is rather disturbing.

Anyway... Jo baby called home last night. Delighted to report she's studying fashion design and just handed in her first paper. Truly wonderful. She's busing up the South Island to meet me and Breezy in The Sounds at the end of October. That'll be fun. I'm looking forward to the trip.

It's almost morning now. Yay. Or something.

Hard to believe daylight savings starts this coming weekend. Not sure that I'm ready for that yet. But by Saturday I'm sure I will be and it will be awesome to get those long evenings back and warm weather... and be able to have my nightly cuppa on the back deck with my trusty neighbor. We've both missed that catch up time over winter. (You all know him as Mac from my book trailers - map guy in the killerbyte trailer; FBI agent picking up knife and bloody staggering agent in terrorbyte.)

I think I can right today off as far as writing goes. No sense stressing myself out with Breezy sick sick.

Y'all take care.

Watch your step -

Seems it's Sunday again.

Not the best of days. Traditionally they're crappy days. It's just how it is. Today is no exception. Breezy is feeling well enough to whine, annoy, grizzle, and demand.

Which is what she was doing while I was trying to explain something to my editor via email first thing this morning. (And resulted in me yelling at Breezy to be quiet and just freaking WAIT, so I could finish what I was doing. Not very successful.)

Something very odd happened to a file. It went away wearing a 12 point font but came home wearing a 20 point font. Not only that but the font formating seems tied to other formating so, rejecting something drops the font back to 12 - but only for a single word or line. Highly frustrating.

I've returned it to it's proper state (of 12 point) but am now left with some weird zig-zag formatting of things that used to be centered!

I've never come across such oddness before. Although I did notice that the last ms came back wearing a 16 point font, when it left home as a 12. Maybe it grew up and became a stroppy teenager in the process?

Sunday's aren't the best days to tackle oddities in an ms. Or anything else for that matter. Especially with a still sick child, and not much better, me!

I think it might be sunny, and stay that way. How fabulous! I shall look forward to gazing out upon the sunny backyard from the confines of my desk...

Oh I won $5 on a scratchy yesterday. It was gold and shiny and I couldn't resist. I must attempt to cash it in for another. Later today!

Squealer is now on Facebook playing Farmville and Yoville and some fish thing. Talk about frustrating! I knew she'd love those annoying games, cos that's how she rolls. But...but... now that's another reason for her to be wanting to use the computers all the time. (Which at times gets fuc'n annoying... especially when she's on Joshy's and Breezy NEEDS to play nic jr. which ends up being her on my pc... and me unable to work.)

There is of course an answer - ban them both! Get a sound proof room and stick them in it, so I can't hear the screaming, pleading, complaining.

Or a laptop for mummy.

Or put some annoying games on the old laptop for Breezy. (and convince her they're cool? Okay that probably won't work, she's three not stupid!)

Meanwhile - my music has finished.

Right remedied that. I am now listening to the terrorbyte playlist. It's pretty fuc'n awesome.

Discovered a missing chapter title/song though in the playlist, not sure why. Must locate and insert!!

Hope y'all have a decent weekend.

The bright spot for this freaking Sunday is... NCIS at 8:30 tonight. A mere 12 hours away.

Real life... release date and someones gonna die?

As you may remember I bought myself a wee treat out of my first royalty payment. I purchased 100,000,000 fans can't be wrong. If you remember that, you'll also know its a boxed set released by Bon Jovi to celebrate their 20th anniversary and the sale of their 100,000,000 record. (Which would be 5-6 years ago?)

So anyway - I think I've heard all the songs now.

The box arrived on Tuesday afternoon. I love that it has an FBI piracy warning on the back. (As possibly only I would)

I've been listening to it all week.

Ya know what? Tico has an amazing voice. Reminds me of Tom Waits. Which in turn reminds me of Jonni. Which possibly means he has something to tell me. The dead do that - talk to me through music.

(That's twice this week Jonni has found his way front and center in my thoughts.

Josh was in Rotorua and on Tuesday went down the luge. It's an instant memory. Jonni LOVED the luge. Not sure if he ever did it sober.)

Moving right along. No doubt y'all don't wanna hear me ramble about dead folk and how oddly annoying they can be.

Breezy thought she was better this morning, that was a tad premature of her. She slept last night. Of course I didn't sleep well because I kept expecting her to wake and when she didn't decided she was so ill she couldn't wake... vicious mothering circle that one!

But morning came and Breezy arrived in our room clutching her pillow looking for a huggle.

All an' all this week has had some large sucky aspects to it. Lack of sleep, sick child, sick mummy... yet we made it to Friday.

Today my mood deteriorated BIG TIME. Everything pisses me off today. So much so that I had to stop going over the last of the edits (hopefully the last) for terrorbyte because some sentences are highlighted in bright yellow and it makes me wanna kill someone, anyone- the closest person will do.

I love yellow. It's one of my three favorite colors BUT NOT HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW.

I love Suzuki yellow. You know the one... picture a RM 250 - that yellow.

Just for fun cos now I'm thinking about RM's:

Dirt:

I feel the need

the need for speed

Smell of leathers

taste of dirt

ride till my bones hurt

Two-stroke clings in the air

Open up the throttle

listen to the whine

flick up the gears

line up a jump

slam it on the incline

kick it down

rev it up

slide through the mud

in a haze of blue smoke

happiness is two-stroke

hanging in the air

Catch me if you dare.

Righto, over that now. (before the broken bones and smashed lid come into it)

Still I harbor an urge to kill - luckily I'm working on a new book and I can utilize my murderous feelings. So by the end of today someone will indeed be dead, horribly tortuously dead. I shall enjoy myself writing that scene... perhaps they shall have a yellow highlighter in a pocket protector. Or perhaps they'll be wearing a shirt made from a manuscript full of em dashes.

Or perhaps there will be more than one death.

Line up.

Okay so -the blog title. Real life. Is a song. A song I love. It's in this boxed set. It's also a chapter title from terrorbyte.

I'm listening to the play list for terrorbyte, which is effectively a sound track. This song, Real Life and the song Kidnap an Angel - they work so well.

The other part of the blog title. Release date.

terrorbyte will be released on

November 10th 2009.

or depending where you are from

10th of November 2009.

I'm still pissed off - unreasonably so. I think I'll just go with it.

terrorbyte trailer

terrorbyte: Coming soon from Rebel e Publishers.

Trailer created by BlueWolf Productions.

Genre: Crime thriller

Title: terrorbyte

Author: Cat Connor

Other books by this author: killerbyte (available now online from Mobipocket, Amazon Kindle and iTunes.)

Getting there

By the end of the weekend I could see my new book trailer... all joined together. Movie clips spliced with still shots. It's so close now I can taste it.

I managed to pick up a nasty sore throat, late last week... which has now progressed to a head cold.

And now Breezy is sick.

She woke at 3 am with a raging temperature. Thankfully now at 5:30 it's calmed right down. (or the pamol worked as did moving her downstairs where it's cooler and insisting she sip cool apple juice.)

Wouldn't be so bad if I weren't still sick. But on a positive note, I couldn’t sleep anyway so I may as well be up with her!

Late last night I saw Chris adding the intro text to the book trailer.

It should be finished by the weekend... all that needs doing now are the closing credits, purchase information, and music. (We have the music - it's a matter of trimming it etc now)

Today Squealer has a hospital specialist appointment. We're not doing school. I am not dragging a sick Breezy and me to school twice within three hours. I really don't care how much time Squealer has off due to appts and illness. Her health (and ours for that matter) is way more important than that freaking school and the miserable five years she has spent there.

Parent teacher interviews this week again- No I don't want to go. In fact I have ordered Chris to be there, as I am sick to death of being made to feel like a bad parent because I put Squealers health first. Let's see them try any shit now!

ha!

Had a joyful email from Fishpond this morning. They tell me my boxed CD set was posted yesterday. Oh my! They expect delivery to be between Thursday and Saturday. I shall be watching the mail with anticipation over the next few days. When I checked the Fishpond site it said my order was shipped Saturday and expected arrival is TODAY! Oh goodness me. I hope the mail comes before we have to leave for the hospital appt!!

This is my gift to myself with my first royalty payment. (I decided I would spend some of it on ME.)

I can hardly wait. I've wanted this set for a long time but I couldn't justify the price. I found it on sale on Friday morning. Now it's another $4 cheaper!! lol

On sale with free postage - it doesn't get much better than that.

No doubt Breezy will enjoy it too. It is Bon Jovi after all!

I think it's time for coffee.

I shall post the trailer when it's done.

Oh for the interested we're using Power Director to create the trailers, it's a LOT easier to use than the million dollar Adobe program and doesn’t require advanced certificates and a fucn degree to understand!

What amused the hell out of me at 6 this morning was discovering I have version 7 on my new pc. It came with the DVD suite. Which I'd never opened as I've never felt the need to create a DVD on my pc and couldn't see why I'd need to open the program! (The pc is only a few weeks old)

Ya see- Chris has an older version on his old pc, which isn't compatible with Vista. He's done all the work on his old slow pc using the program he’s had a while and I found a newer one on my dual core... which would've cut down the lag and waiting and annoyance level by A LOT on Sunday - had we known and used this pc. LOL

He's going to buy the latest version next month anyway - as we'll be making a few more trailers!! And run it on his quad core.

Okay I'm all geeked out.

As you were.

This is the second attempt at this post -am hoping there are NO MORE fucn idiot screw ups with blogger!!!

Surviving the weekend.

It's Sunday night!

I seem to be exhausted, am trying to wake up before NCIS so I can enjoy it.

Friday night was a fun night with Rosanne and Megan - always fun when we get together. Much laughter, good wine, excellent company -what more could a person want?

Squealer had a minor melt down... more a sign of things to come than the main event.

Saturday - not hung over but still with a sore throat. We woke the Boy Wonder early to watch the girls so Chris and I could go do the groceries without the whining. :-) He fell back asleep but roused himself at nine due to the house being silent. He crept downstairs to find the girls watching TV. They didn't even notice him. So happy in the knowledge no one was dead or severely injured he went back to bed.

When we got home Breezy was cross-legged and meditating on the lounge floor. Squealer was watching TV fully zoned out of life and the Boy Wonder was semi-conscious.

Sometime later the Boy Wonder began packing for his trip today. We ended up going out to get him a hard cover notebook to take. Back at home I started a huge hunk of beef cooking.

Chris picked Bex and the boys up.

Fun was had by the kids as usual.

Then dinner... fantastic.

UNTIL. SQUEALER. HAD. A. MELTDOWN.

One of the best Autism type meltdowns I've ever witnessed. It had everything and there was no stopping it. So with much resolve I removed her from the table and sat her behind the fridge... so she could carry on without being LOOKED AT. Which didn't work. But I refused to react with anything except calm.

(I didn't even laugh- and you KNOW how hard that was)

She semi calmed down in time for chocolate mousse. Yes home made. Yes with REAL dark chocolate NOT Cadbury shite chocolate.

Of course as I was dishing it up - in fact as I finished- she screamed, "I don't want cream!"

Too fuc'n late.

I had to hurriedly scrap the cream from the mousse... and it touched the strawberries. I ended up having to wash the fuc'n things just so the ensuing fit didn't go on forever.

Meanwhile - Breezy sat in her chair. And Squealer SCREAMED in her face. Terrifying her little sister who took off, face crumbling arms outstretched to daddy.

So we all have our delicious mousse and Squealer announces sobbing that it tastes disgusting and she doesn't like dark chocolate. (No fathoming that one either -she loves dark chocolate and was watching me make it... you'd think that would be the appropriate time to bring up a hatred of dark chocolate.)

We ignored her and ate. Breezy and Conman making short work of any mousse left on anyone else's plates!

When Squealer finally calmed down, and Bex and the boys were back home... Breezy in bed. I gave the Squealer a night-time dose of Phenergan, made her double her flexotide dose and made her take ventolin and then put her to bed.

I figured that might stave off the brewing allergy/asthma/allergic croup thing that usually follows total bullshit behavior. I was right -she coughed a few times then there was blissful silence for 9 hours.

Sunday - I woke at 3:30 for painkillers. I couldn't swallow or talk. Was up until 4:30, then went back to bed.

At 6 I was up with Breezy.

When Chris emerged I announced it was sunny and I wanted the terrorbyte trailer FINISHED.

It took almost all day.

But we now have the trailer together - apart from the music, and the interspersed text, and final credits. We have movie clips and still photos all in the correct order with just the right transitions. We lost the entire project once... which I recall happened to the killerbyte trailer too.

We discovered that the something-a-rather director program Chris likes- doesn't run on his new machine. We have an old version that hates Vista. Luckily it works fine on his old one - but is so s-l-o-w. Was frustrating to use.

The plan now is to upgrade the program by buying the latest version and have that on the new pc.

BUT it's so close to being done now, we can cope.

Now to locate the music. I mistakingly thought I had some say in that and commented that I thought I'd found the music... only to be laughed at and be told the director will take care of it.

Manged to get the washing dry on the line, brought in, folded and put away.

The Boy Wonder is in Rotorua and seeming unimpressed. I hope things improve or it will be a long three days for him!

Fabulous fun to be had!

You should all head over to Quinn Cummings blog and enter this fun contest.

"What should couple do to determine compatibility before actually dating." The glorious prize is a signed copy of Quinn's book NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE.

Having read this book - and laughed up a storm in the graveyard doing so. (The dead or quite lacking in fun) I fully recommend this contest (and I entered just for fun).

I hear that Quinn will ship overseas -so no excuses get over there are leave your comment.

The QC Report: Coda

I shall now take my sore throat and lack of voice off to the stupidmarket where I can spread more germs... while doing the monthly grocery shop.

The wonder of you

Breezy, as most of you know, is a dynamo of energy. Total fun wrapped in a crazy strawberry floss of curls.

Today was a kindy day. Yes that's right two hours of parental torture in the guise of socializing an already very social child in an attempt to never hear her say, "but I have no friends" ever again! The day she said to me that very quietly on our way back from town four weeks ago nearly did me in.

What sort of monster was I? My three year old was forced to play with imaginary friends... and quite frankly they were getting out of control. Especially one called, Purple... that friend had some serious authority issues not to mention she seemed to possess Breezy on and off.

The answer was simple: enroll her in kindergarten. After all, she was old enough for afternoon kindy. I'd resisted thus far because it was going to inconvenience the hell out of me. (And I'd finally got to a place where all my hard work was paying off... publisher, book out, second coming out... etc)

So with that done. We started almost immediately.

Oh joy.

Now remember Breezy LOVES kindy. Oh how she loves it. She's missed one day due to not being very well and was devastated!

At 12:45 I told Breezy to get ready for kindy. That should've been the first clue that we were going to be leaving the house shortly.

As if it being T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Y wasn't enough.

Get ready, I explained, meant go to the toilet, wash your face and hands, get your shoes and jacket.

Just to hurry things a long I plopped the child on the toilet myself. While she was occupied I wrestled with and rounded up the cat then snuggled her cranky little self into Breezy's bed and firmly shut the door. (I am not getting one of those phone calls from the alarm company again telling me that the alarm keeps going off and a patrol car is on the way. $35 later the cat is discovered looking out the living room window at the patrolman. It ain't happening again)

I come downstairs to find Breezy jumping around the living room with her pants around her ankles.

No she hadn't been toilet.

A quick lecture about doing as one is told followed as I plopped her back on the toilet. Reminding her I don't need to go to kindy and don't mind staying home.

Sometime later - she appeared again. Finished. I marched her upstairs to wash. She reappeared again but neglected to get her shoes on the way, or her jacket. She tossed herself at the couch.

I'd had my coat and shoes on for sometime.

One of us was ready.

"You'll be late," I cautioned.

She grinned and shrugged.

Apparently getting her shoes and jacket were too difficult for the child who can out smart, and out maneuver most adults.

Stunned at this development I suggested we wouldn't go. (Already I was brimming with joy at the thought of getting to stay home and write.)

Slowly she retrieved her jacket and shoes. Guess she figured I was serious about not going. Either that or the thought of arriving at tidy-up time and getting no playtime actually motivated her.

What I don't get is how Breezy has the audacity to be a Sagittarius? There are a lot of them in our family. We don't like to be late. We're punctual people us fire signs. (Punctual and social, unless you're stupid because none of us tolerate stupid well)

We left the house at 1:30 pm.

She picked up every goddamn flower on the freaking pavement all the way to Kindy.

We arrived at kindy at 2 pm.

Kindy starts at 1:20 pm.

But I'm glad we went. Despite Miss laid back and cruisy not moving at any great pace... and stressing me out! (I declare that will never happen again - matters not to me if she's late)

I met another mum at kindy today, one who lives close. She has the cutest little girl (who I often play with at kindy) and I got to be something (I rarely get to be) ... knowledgeable. I got to impart years of wisdom and reassurance.

It felt good to be helpful. I also gave her my card and told her to text me anytime she needs a break, or to just pop over.

Sometimes you just need to know someone else has been there.

Now to write!!

I too can procrastinate! Imagine that?

It seems I am procrastinating this week. (okay so we've only had two days so far- but they've been entire days, as it's now Tuesday evening.) I can only hope that tomorrow will be a more settled writing day and that I will write. And write more than 1000 words.

It's not that I'm stuck, or have reached any kind of major character crisis or anything. Not at all. In fact the story is coming along swimmingly.

So what's the problem?

The unsettledness of having interrupted days. Of being so goddamn tired by night fall that I can't be bothered writing or even taking a notebook to bed and making well, notes. It seems I'm not adjusting to the interruption that is Kindergarten very well at all. It's been quite a few years since I've had to adjust to such an interruption. Squealer didn't go to kindergarten due to her being extra special - and hating people and all animals (except our large dog) - not all people, generally just peers. She hated being around other kids. HATED it. And became so stressed by the experience that she'd go to her room and cut pieces of paper until they were confetti. (I'm sure you can picture it... rocking, cutting paper, sitting in a circle of confetti muttering to herself.) You can imagine what happened when a petting zoo was involved, it was days before we could lever her from her bedroom for another round of inadvertent torture.

We didn't do kindy. Or anything else that required interaction with outsiders until she was 5 - and even then it was a struggle. It's still a struggle.

So now we do kindy. With Breezy the socialite. Breezy the entertainer. Breezy the smart, funny, extroverted bundle of energy. Breezy who congratulates Squealer for walking from school to kindy by herself and positively beams at her big sisters cleverness.

What I have noticed about kindy is that when I decide to ignore all the children (30) and sit in the sun and write... it only takes about five minutes before they all start to ignore me. For the first five I get questions, and requests for help - after that the novelty wears off. (a blessing: they don't realize -the sweet wee innocent things - just how cranky I can get when constantly freaking interrupted!)

Thank god I have something to pin my lack of activity on!

It's not that I'm NOT writing. It's just that for me I'm writing slowly. It pisses me off. I'm a fast writer. I get an idea and I WRITE. And it consumes me until it's done.

This time it's more like an annoying drone, never quite hitting fever pitch and forcing my fingers to the keyboard. Except... when I start to read it back. I'm reading thinking... this is really good. I wonder how they'll get out of that? Shit, don't tell me this all ties up with that bastard? Oh my god why doesn't she just admit it already!

And I know I have to write the rest, so I know how it ends.. .and how they get out of it. And if she admits it or not.

So I go order more cool stuff from Vistaprint. Then I go visit the Officemax order point and get another black ink for my color printer, and some triple A batteries for the remotes. Most importantly - I order an A2 desk pad... because I'm sick to death of losing post-it notes. And I really missed having something right under my keyboard to doodle ideas and thoughts on.

And I check my diary for the next specialist appt for Squealer and realize she needs a new script by the weeks end. Four bottles of Dolcetto & Syrah arrive to thank Rose, Megan, and I for our superlative supervising skills at the ball after party - we now have plans to drink said gorgeous wine on Friday night. (which will effectively right Saturday off in a hungover cloud of painkillers)

And I opened the docx file for the 3rd Conway book and set to work revising and tweaking that.

And I almost finished reading Quinn Cummings NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE in a day, because it's hilarious.

And fold two days worth of laundry. And visit the stupidmarket. And make burgers for dinner.

Tomorrow I shall write. Tomorrow. Wednesday. I'm home all day.

I will write.

Don't look at me like that.

I will write.

what I hate about Spring

Or if you're totally paranoid - What I hate about you.
Which of course isn't an issue unless you are a troll.

Moving right along - Spring has a way of truly pissing me off. Bad enough EVERYTHING is covered with pine pollen - yellow shite is everywhere. It runs in rivers the minute it rains leaving a yellow rim around the gutters and swirls on the footpath. IT MAKES ME SNEEZE. And my eyes run. And Breezy itch.
BUT:
The other thing worth noting is fuc'n disgusting fat bastard black flies - not big enough to be a true blow fly - more like one in training. Stupid, flighty, and spreading god knows what! They seek every open window and seem capable of dodging the fly strip flapping thingy at the back door. (but the stupid neighbor cat that comes in and eats our cat's poop from the litter box - and food, and gets into the garbage - seems tricked by the addition of the fly strip whatsit! YAY for small mercies.)

Now today has been rather delightful.
Sara J Henry sent me a gift. Not one but two books... A signed copy of Quinn Cummings Notes from the Underwire. AND a copy of A.S. King's The dust of 100 dogs.

Missing Sara's advice about not starting Amy's book until I could read it right through - I luckily opted to take Quinn's book to kindy and subsequently the nearby graveyard for an hour or so of uninterrupted reading.

Oh how I giggled as I read.

The dead didn't mind.

A few people cutting through the church yard looked over and smiled. I think. I was wearing reading glasses, quite honestly they could've raised a finger - I couldn't tell.

It became apparent very quickly that if Quinn and I were to be at the same social gathering - the world would be in considerable trouble... or maybe just the party goers.

Ya see - as dreadful as it is to admit... I have an issue with, well, telling the truth.

I like to do it.

People don't always get that I don't mean to be horrible. If there is any doubt about how big your ass looks in those pants - DO NOT ASK ME. Unless you really want to know the truth.

My kids like to wind my mind up by telling me stuff about their friends and then sitting back and watching the fun, as I meet these unfortunate souls. Ones with no parents (that really is careless), or ill-favored backgrounds (Australian), or who have done something REALLY embarrassing and now I know about it (the drunk girl).

It doesn't matter how careful I try to be I will say something. (a lot of things) Stuff will revolve around my mind and I'll be trying SO hard not to say anything that it just comes out!

Can you imagine what it was like when one of scariest-of-all-daughters friends killed someone in a car crash? I spent years referring to him as Martin the murmurer ... in an effort not to say murderer. It didn't work.

I suspect Quinn is also someone who should not be playing on children's play equipment at the park - I've been banned due to injuring myself a number of times. Seems accidents are part of who I am. I often see them coming... but by then it's too late.

Oh I made the Boy Wonder so happy today he almost hugged me! In fact he beamed - and put his hand on my shoulder -twice! He was near delirious with joy. I cleaned his room.

REALLY cleaned it. It's sparkles. He can even use his desk to study again. I should've taken before and after pictures... it wans't filthy just very messy. I doubt he'd put a shirt or sock away in 6 months!

Now to go cook dinner.

Fathers day!

Yes that's right folks, it's fathers day in NZ.

We're off shopping later.

Last night Lee Pletzers and his lovely wife, Ami (Breezy's favorite person ever) came for dinner.
They brought wine - Satellite wine! How groovy is that? I know, I was delighted!

Oh my goodness we had a wonderful night. Talk about hysterical laughter. Ami learned what a Columbian neck-tie was. Which started the first attack of hysterics. For some reason Squealer thought that all the old people (when they died) had to have one. And it got so that I just had to run a finger across my neck and Ami would erupt into hysterical laughter.

Dinner with a horror writer and a thriller writer - makes for weird table talk.

Ya gotta love it.

Lee's book 'The last Church' comes out today. I'm pretty sure I can locate a link for you. Here we go, The Last Church by Lee Pletzers.

You all remember my interview with Lee?

Now I must run - it's fathers day after all. And we need to take Chris out for some shopping.

Not sure if it'll be the terabyte external hard drive him and Lee seemed to really NEED last night! I had to admit it was pretty freaking cool and the price, well, wonderfully low!

Take care out there.

Go buy Lee's new book.
Pop over to mobipocket and buy killerbyte too... terrorbyte will be out soon!


PS. Lee: I remembered what sent my hits through the roof - the blog about Chlorine gas. (I knew it was terrorish)

LOL

A bit of gorgeousness to perk me up...

Today was spent running about like a headless chicken trying to get things done - I accomplished little in the way of writing and suspect the same of sales.

BUT - I did trot up to Bex and buy her disinfectant, anti-bacterial hand wash, apple juice, a large pack of nappies (diapers for you yanks), and dettol surface spray. All three of her boys are spewing with a tummy bug... nice. We didn't stay long.

Don't want Breezy to get it. But alas we were probably there long enough in the weekend -Dex got sick Sunday night... we were there Saturday- here's hoping Breezy is bug resistant!!

I ran into a friend, we chatted for a bit -I was delighted to discover she's back in school and is sounding quite perky attitude wise. It's good to be busy. (Sure as hell beats sitting on a sofa watching day time soaps and watching your life force dwindle away.)

Hurried home and discovered I had mail. My business cards arrived. They're pretty cool. I shall see if I can take a pic. (and blank out things I don't want the world knowing in it's entirety just now!) For some reason when I add pics they go where they want -not where I want.
Crikey it worked -thanks Sara! (Yes that's my thumb holding the card.)

Now I've decided to do a re-cap - so I shall now proceed to add some links of wonderful lovely things that make me smile and sigh happily.

Ten question Tuesday with Cat Connor (oh my that's me!)

Mysterious musings interview with Cat Connor (crikey me, again!)

The fun the Giant eye ball and I had interviewing Quinn Cummings!

Bookwenches interview with Cat Connor (I know, I know... ain't it cool?)

Bookwenches review of killerbyte over at my website. (Left me speechless really and still delights me!)

A freaking fabulous review by Unbound.

Laura over at e book guru reviewed killerbyte. (What's not to love??)

The giant blue eye ball interviewed Lee Pletzers.

The last few months have been quite busy. I kinda feel like I'm everywhere and yet getting nowhere. It's a bizarre feeling to be sure.

The last week or so have been mostly devoted to finishing the WIP (Satellite), because for whatever reason I skipped it and wrote the fifth Conway book not the 4th early this year. Such is the craziness of having Ellie tell the stories.

Breezy is doing well at Kindergarten. The whole kindy thing annoys me on so many levels. Taking 10.5 hours out of my week isn't helpful - but she loves it and is such a social child that she really needs to interaction.

I need a shiny new laptop so I can at least write while she's there. There is no point coming home, because by the time I get back I have almost an hour before I have to go get the other child from school... not enough time to do anything useful, certainly not write.

It's fathers day this coming weekend.

Oh my.

The boy wonder has a VERY expensive school trip coming up and when he gets back from that (it's up in Rotorua) his biology class is going to the zoo. That'll be another $22 on top of the $300 just spent for the Rotorua, thanks very much! And the worst part... they DON'T NEED PARENT HELPERS for the zoo trip??? What the hell? That's crazy shit. Just because the kids (okay adults) are all 18 or nearly 18 and in year 13 - that's no reason to exclude parents who want a trip to the zoo!

I might have to complain! Or better still.... me and Breezy might have to go to the zoo that day - and surprise them all. :-)

Now to finish off the dishes and poke the chicken... (I'm not being rude - it's roasting and I need to poke it to see how close it is to being cooked!)