Thursday, October 1, 2009

Maybe someday

This morning - we woke early, me and Breezy. It's what we do. Ever since she first got sick I can rely on her to be up between 5 and 6, if indeed she sleeps at all. Last night she coughed ALL night. But never so bad she couldn't breathe, just annoying for her and making sleep not so restful.

This morning she's been dancing and singing - I've found out why she seems to be talking VERY loudly. Her ears are blocked and she can't hear herself properly. Not surprising really.

So while Miss Squealer is off at her weekly Psych appt Breezy is bugging the hell out of me wanting to use my computer, or Josh's (she's not that fussy). Today the answer is no.

I've been working. And I don't want to be 'helping' her every two seconds, or watching what she's doing. No reason why she can't go play with toys, read, watch TV... anything QUIETLY.

This morning I lost a gold earring. I am loathe to mention this to Chris. This will be the third earring over the last few years. I'm hoping it's caught in my tee shirt - or stuck in a towel or something. Wonder why it's always the right earring that gets lost? It's not like they're cheap either. Oh no. I only lose expensive earrings. (Needless to say I live in dread of someone remembering I had diamond studs. -yeah HAD.)

Apart from that - writing is going well.

I'm both writing a new book and revising the third Conway novel (exacabyte) - while waiting to hear back from my editor. The new one has caused a few headaches. Mainly because friend Eric is co-writing. But not really. He's writing from the perspective of a 15 yr old girl (interesting position for a late 30's male to be in) and his story runs parallel to mine. But ya see -the way I work is I don't discuss what I write. I write it. When it's written then there is room for discussion. And he, is slowly grasping that I can't enter into discussions about where his character is at and whats happening. I don't want to know. All that will do is wreck what I'm doing. (I'm a nightmare!)

They're stand alone stories that run parallel and my character may or may not ever meet his. Therefore there is no need for me to know anything - and I don't want to know anything! I like writing in the dark. My plot, ideas, characters like it too. They like to assume control and tell me the story as they see it. We're all very resistant to interference. They'll stop talking, I'll stop writing - it's a fragile balance we have.

After reading the 80 odd pages I'd written (I sent them to Eric to shut him up and prove a point) he now sees that everything will work out. It's the joy.

In some ways I guess I'm a lot like Ellie. I don't always know where things come from but it all works out in the end. She gets messages, information from some strange places - songs mostly. I do too. I find that I listen to songs that help me, without knowing they'll help me at the time. I also tend to know stuff with no rational explanation for such knowledge.

I just go with it.

Ya know I think it's mostly about trusting yourself. Something you learn when you have kids. Trusting your own instincts. Believing in one’s self and your ability to pull it together.

On that note... I just started writing chapter 13. Listening to Bon Jovi's 100,000,000 fans can't be wrong and The one that got away. Looks like music is speaking. On with 13!

Y'all take care.

No comments:

I see you...

Blog Archive