Friday, February 27, 2009

sometimes you just need to have a rant...

Some of you know I have my cover. The rest of you will find out in due course .

Now on to other matters.

Yesterday was a fucn shite day. It really was. The dead were playing silly games and annoying the hell out of me. But I was having difficulty seeing the wood for the trees. Took my very wise neighbor to point out a few things for me to stop and look around. Well, in this case it involved music, AC DC were at that moment blaring from across the road.
Ah, I thought, my brother.
My mouse wheel refused to work. It wouldn't let me access my menu (I operate everything from my mouse wheel - so was totally lost for a bit there), it refused to scroll. My god that was annoying.
Ah, Jonni. Or more accurately - Jonni-you-dick leave my computer alone!
So that just left one.
I looked at my cover and there he was. Or there was our means of communication in the form of a yahoo chat window.

Once I acknowledged the general oddness and the ways they seemed to chose to say hi, everything returned to normal.

This morning with the help of Squealers therapist we may have got to the bottom of her most recent refusal to take medication. It happened on Tuesday morning. Just bang, like that. On Monday after school I had to ask her if she wanted to call Chris's mother (yes her) and thank her for her birthday present. Squealer said NO. When asked why, she said because she is mean to Joshy.
Fair enough.
We asked her to write a note instead.
From that point on everything turned to custard. She was miserable all afternoon. And the next day she refused ALL medication. Same on Wednesday. And Thursday. Today I got her to use her inhaler and take an antihistamine. (Which will at least keep her out of the emergency room!)

Therapist thinks this is no coincidence and that Squealer is refusing medication because she thinks if she goes back to how she was no-one will want her. More importantly the Battle barge will stop making comments about how Grandparents have rights and Squealer should meet them etc etc.
So for the next few days we need to try and convince Squealer that is NOT going to happen. It's a hard ask considering what has happened to her nephew instigated by one of his grandparents. She knows that sometimes courts fuck up and give access when they shouldn't and it just adds to her anxiety. Especially as the battle barge has had the temerity to suggest she'd get a lawyer and get access that way, in the past.
(Cold day in hell, springs to mind)
If we can't calm her down and convince her that she will be okay and no-one can make her talk to or see these people, then her therapist will step in on Monday and reinforce it.
It's crazy really, because there is no way we would EVER allow that woman near Squealer because Squealer can't cope, we know that. She's not a regular ten year old. She's dancing somewhere on the autism spectrum, while two-stepping with ADD and several medical conditions that mean she will not be out of my care for many years to come. She is safe. She just looks around and sees what has happened to Dex (her nephew), and applies it to herself, as children do. It's highly unfair that this bullshit has caused her to attempt to control things the only way she knows how... via her refusal to take medicine. I'm hoping by Monday we can give her something else to control so that she can let the medicine thing go. (and take it!!!)

What's even more unfair is that everything was going so well. She had an awesome birthday and has been so much fun over the last few months and then this... fucn old bat is doing to our child what she did to her own son.
She cannot be allowed to have contact any more, it's too much for Squealer. God knows it's been too much for Chris all his life! Luckily I'm tougher than both of them, and can make the decision in the best interest of our child without feeling at all guilty. And without feeling the need to explain it or defend it to the old bat.

Tomorrow, Michelle and I are going out. We're going to the carnival bright and early. Should be fun. Not taking children - they just whine about wanting stuff. Not taking men... similar reason. Although they don't so much whine as walk about with long faces looking disinterested. (Sometimes that's worse)

Almost time to go to school. I shall go pick up the little darling and see what sort of day she had today. No doubt she'll be full of beans and herself... won't bode well for Breezy. She hasn't had a great week, cos Squealer is off her meds. Which means Breezy gets hurt. She get's hit, pushed, shoved... and the Squealer has no idea, she thinks she 'just touched' her. But if you try to 'touch' the Squealer in a similar way she screams blue murder (way over the top) and accuses us of hitting, shoving, pushing etc. In fact she does that if you bump her by accident when she is not on her meds. It drives me up the freaking wall.

As you can tell I'm really looking forward to picking her up.

A question: Does anyone know of any good sites that review e-books?

I've found some, but want more. Yes I know that's greedy - but my cover rocks.. did I mention that already?

be good ya'hear.

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